#but im starting to think these are more stress related than neck related

[mashiee]

what's your rei au?

AHAJDD OMFG. OKDY FIRSG OF ALL I LOVE YOH AND TY FOR LEAVING THE ASK. SCEOND O OF ALL

(tw, dark/angst, death, kidnapping, human labor trafficking, extreme mental instability, mental and moral decline, developed delusions, etc)

basically, i took rei and put him in the most horrible situations ever °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖��

the idea is basically a very dark 'what-if' of if rei had survived

im a whore for plots that have a character survive, but everyone still thinks theyre dead, so thats the route here. rei does survive, but at a great cost, and to the knowledge of no one.

and by great cost i mean, he would have been better off if he had just died. which is why the au had previously been named 'better off dead.' i have since changed the name bc i hated it.

the new au name is pontibus incensis (burned bridges in latin). this is both bc rei's bridges were forcibly burned by volcan and byron (both figuratively and literally in relation to the fire claws) and bc i think being able to say its my pi/π au is really funny.

the whole thought process behind the au stems from the thought that the government wouldnt use their money on ember. they would use something else as a source for its funds. so i basically combined that with wanting rei to be alive and go thru angst.

the story is give or take as goes:

the au starts as soon as rei "dies." ember finds a way to fake his body, etc. rei wakes up in a cell chained to the wall, he doesnt know where he is. eventually he pulled out to some kind of "arena" people are calling "the colosseum"

(i am aware colosseum is the term for the specific famous building, and coliseum is the proper term for any large stadium. the place rei's in being called colosseum as opposed to coliseum is important to later on in the story)

theres a little girl about 8-10 there too. hes given a brief set of rules basically saying he needs to fight to the death within a certain time period. obviously rei is not going to kill a little girl and shes scared shitless so neither of them do anything. theres a warning bell signaling the time is up and the little girl, who has long light pink hair and a blue ribbon in it, is shot and killed. rei attacks the person shooting out of rage and survival and accidentally kills them. rei's allowed to pass bc hes found interesting by the colosseum head(?) and its the first and last time any match in the colosseum ends in a draw. as reis leaving he turns around and sees the girls lifeless body and for a brief moment she looks like remi.

so reis dilemma there is that he just killed someone and the little girl who looks like remi dying. his thoughts spiral from here but theyre cut off. hes later brought out again and fights a guy who comes at him instantly. reis forced to kill him. when rei gets back to his cell he finds the barcode branded on the back of his neck reading 1010 (XX in roman numerals, allude to the X in X-Static). he has the horrifying realization this place has already had at least 1000 prisoners.

this pattern of killing to survive continues. due to the constant stress, reis ability steadily climbs as well as his survival instincts. he develops a literal skill to survive. meanwhile, his mental health and morals are rapidly dropping and becoming tangled and confusing--even incomprehensible. eventually he'll develop the delusion that the little girl actually was remi, and that hes the one who killed her. as its a delusion, the knowledge of remi being 4 yrs younger than him and what she looks like now doesnt matter.

im thinking of giving him psychotic depression in order to explain the delusion, but im unsure. i will need to do more research. i could possibly also give him more delusions, such as hallucinations of his body rotting and the delusion he deserves it, or maybe the hallucination of remis decaying corpse, etc. another symptom of psychotic depression is psychomotor impairment which causes issues with speech and muscle activity, which i may be able to use as well?

(all of that is very surface level research btw, if i got anything wrong or am using the disorder in an inappropriate or disrespectful way please tell me. im very open to criticism and correction)

anyway, rei figures out that hes being used as entertainment for higher ups in the authorities to have monetary gain for ember funding. hes also become the fav of the place bc he just wont die, hes seen as some kind of impossible to kill entity. he gives ember massive monetary gain. he manages to survive for a long time (i think i want the colosseum arc to be maybe 4 months long?) which is unheard of. at most people have only survived for a month.

at the end of the colosseum arc, rei obviously escapes. hes very briefly helped by an oc of mine, who ends up being important later on.

i wont go into detail abt the rest of it unless u want bc this arc is the main point of the au.

something i should mention though that rei only finds out in the next arc is that ember doesnt ever actually kill the vigilantes. theyre always taken to a coliseum. and they end up dying in there. reis the only one whos survived so far.

[the-hiveswitch-states]

[ ✗System update ]

the inner world is stable but it's growing. our headcount increases by the day. weve seen some noteworthy splits including 5 new dammek introjects since last month.

me and the other managers were relocated after a power-hungry alter split in and wrecked our conference space. their demands were sort of impossible, they wanted to seize control and restructure our system's social hierarchy... we don't have one. nobody was hurt, karkat cleared the room as soon as they broke in. security detail worked fast to contain the tyrant and they're confirmed to be a xefros introject. i'm not shocked, no one was too surprised this happens a lot. they aren't the first xefros who tried to seize power... but they sure were the most aggressive case we've seen.

i dont believe they'll be... rehabilitated? for lack of a better word, it's not really an option without the persecutor status. they're just an alter with ambitious goals. i wish they wouldn't drag my source through the mud while doing it but it's fine.

the next documented split was roxy lalonde from tetrarch dammek's timeline. i mean host dammek, specifically... my moirails. roxy came in quietly and still regards the tetrarch with a maternal fondness. her memories have raised a few concerns about dammek's timeline, more so about his health than anything. i believe mallek and strife have recorded roxy's statements and are monitoring the tetrarch to see if they observe the same symptoms. roxy has taken the role of physical protector so i xpect we'll hear more from her.

a week ago host dammek asked the leads for counsel, including my superior karkat. the situation about host davey's fp (favorite person) was tabled and he asked dammek to choose whether or not he blocked the fp. i weighed in on it... i told the tetrarch i thought maybe getting rid of him was best. he chose differently but it seems like... it could be working. the issue of dave's fp has been a contentious topic for months, it's been the subject of rigorous debate and the case is still open. no one knows how to deal with it. dave is still kind of unstable, he's out of crisis but until the favorite person goes away we have to be prepared for him to go back.

the physical world developments were not easy to jot down. i struggled playing catch up. it's been crazy, i cannot stress that. um... i guess chronic pain should be mentioned. the body's acid reflux resurged and it's been off and on. we suspect the hosts irritated it by coming off treatment too soon. on top of heartburn, the body has pulled or strained a chest muscle i think. our neck is taut, our arms and shoulders hurt... the backaches have been insane. a lot of us wonder if this is permanent since it hasn't stopped yet. we were already a spoonie before but this is ridiculous.

we postponed our gender transition until the body heals. so yea... between the chronic pain and the borderline splits, we are in NO condition to start hormones. our therapist doesn't believe davey has bpd. i'm frustrated about it, i think if they could see how dave is acting every day they would seriously reconsider dying on that hill. i'm not kidding. i'm concerned. we talk about this too often, and even host dammek is a little more depressed than usual. i'm scared for my moirails... the thought that no one in the physical world is helping us makes me...

i think there's a real chance someone will do something drastic. i don't have bpd. i can't relate to anything my moirail is feeling and he's not even the only case. host dammek has bpd traits but they're managed. my kismesis tetrarch d also has bpd, i guess the signs were there but i'm not worried about him since strife never leaves him alone too long.

davey meets with our therapist monday morning, i'm crossing my fingers and hoping they see what we do.

i have more developments but im dissociating really bad... i might stop for now. the screen looks too blurry.

-Xefros Tritoh (manager)

[lovely-dr-imagines]

Makoto, Leon, Nagito, and Byakuya with an S/O who is obsessed with playing with their hair:

✾ Hello my lovely! Thank you for the request! I’ll try my best on it! :D ✾

✾ Under the Cut! ✾

✾ ahem, just noticed I have no other happy icons for me other than the one holding the camera or the blushing mahiru... 0-0 oh well im lazy so qjiwshudf guess whos not gonna make new ones bc i like the ones i already made :D? Plus I think I have another happy one hidden somewhere in my camera roll ijdfhygf ✾

✾ Makoto Naegi: 

✎ He didn’t notice it at first. 

✎ Yeah I know, that’s stupid, but he really didn’t notice- 

✎ That was until you started twirling his ahoge- 

✎ His face blushed up and he turned around to see you, who looked surprised and taken aback- (AHOGES GUYS, THEY ARE SENSITIVE (opinion))

✎ “...” 

✎ “Sorry...?” 

✎ Overtime the Makoto became more comfortable to your little massages and hair playing. 

✎ One time, you made a tiny braid from his hair like Kyoko’s!

✎ However, again, he doesn’t notice until he walks to go somewhere and someone points out his hair or if he can see his reflection- 

✎ AND NEITHER DO YOU-

✎ Huh?

✎ Yeah you heard me correctly ya know- 

✎ You’ll somehow go to him and started playing with his brown hair. 

✎ Both of you become surprised- 

✎ ANYWAYS- 

✎ He really likes your scalp massages- 

✎ Seriously, like any normal person, he loves it- 

✎ It feels GOOD- 

✎ One day, after your signature message of his scalp, his hair somehow grew-

✎ And he didn’t want to get a haircut- 

✎ Because he knew you would like more hair to play with <3

✎ When the two of you cuddle or even something small like hugging, you twirl his hair around your finger if you can. 

✎ He finds you playing with his hair calming and soothing. 

✎ This egg fell asleep once when you were playing with his hair... 

✎ And literally 10 minutes later, his head dropped to the right unexpectedly (you were watching TV) and your fingers got tangled- 

✎ You have no idea why- 

✎ But I guess he can get that haircut now-

✾ Kiyotaka Ishimaru: 

✎ Unlike Makoto, this stiff man took notice immediately. 

✎ “Y/N? What are you dong?” 

✎ That sure startled you- 

✎ You started prodding at your fingers, trying to think up an answer... 

✎ “Do you find comfort playing with my hair?” 

✎ Wow he got a bulls eye- 

✎ Playing with hair is a common thing for people to do when nervous or anxious (i know from experience, but now that turned into playing with whatever is on my wrist at the moment-)

✎ “Y-yeah...” You answered weakly. 

✎ “THAT’S ABSOLUTELY FINE Y/N! YOU CAN KEEP DOING SO IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER!”

✎ That’s your Taka <3

✎ Although his hair is short, it feels nice to scale your fingers across his hair back and forth, creating a nice sensation against your skin. 

✎ Surprisingly, his hair, being naturally spiky, is actually pretty soft-

✎ He doesn’t mind whenever you touch his hair, he finds it pretty relaxing too. 

✎ Your scalp massages?? He LOVES them. Seriously. 

✎ You think being a hall monitor is EASY? Taka has to deal with bullies and delinquents skipping classes and argues with people who are even just a minute later for class... 

✎ So you can imagine how much stress in on him. 

✎ Maybe he’ll consider growing his hair out for you... 

✎ Or maybe not...

✎ OH GOD THE THOUGHT OF TAKA WITH LONG HAIR KIND OF SCARES ME-

✎ WHY DID I THINK THIS UP I DONT LIKE THAT IDEA, LET ME PERISH THE THOUGHT-

✎ Nah, I think he likes his hair short, no? 

✎ Yeah, just ruffling his short hair is good enough... 

✎ Good enough for him to start developing a habit of playing with your hair when the two of you cuddle, hug, or are juts generally near each other. 

✎ It doesn’t bother either of you- 

✎ Any why would it? 

✎ Both of you enjoy it so what’s the harm? 

✎ If you are waiting for me to say the harm, there really isn’t any-

✾ Leon Kuwata: 

✎ He probably played with your hair first. 

✎ Then you did the same thing- 

✎ Both of you guys couldn’t help it- 

✎ Both of yous have the same thing- 

✎ Leon probably plays with hair when he’s distressed or frustrated, like if he failed an assignment or couldn’t find the confidence to make a band for the first time so he can actually be related to music for the first time. 

✎ You probably play with hair when you are nervous. 

✎ When the two of you started dating, you sat next to each other and started talking about random stuff when Leon unconsciously started playing with your hair- 

✎ That’s how you figured out he was like you- 

✎ Ish?

✎ Idk- 

✎ But he was nervous and/or frustrated at himself for being called a wuss before this little date. 

✎ Now, both of you don’t mind playing with each other’s hair. Like Taka’s headcanons, whenever you and Leon cuddle, hug, or just in near proximity to each other, hair twirling and other doodads will commence- 

✎ Scalp massages don’t really help Leon, but he enjoys them nonetheless. He’ll ask for them if he feels really down or stressed. 

✎ He’ll also give YOU scalp massages if you want them. However, you obviously like playing with his hair better-

✎ Once, Leon jokingly said that he would cut his hair if he find one more tangle in his locks- 

✎ You took it quite seriously though- 

✎ And no tangles would be found the next day, or the next, or the day after that. 

✎ His hair has been conditioned by you 0-0 

✎ HOW YOU DID IT?  

✎ You will play with his hair if it’s the last thing you do. 

✎ The time where both of you play with each other’s hair the most is during studies or homework. 

✎ Both of you would go sit next to another and go focus on your own assignments. 

✎ and the two of yous would eventually go to sleep... 

✎ On each other... 

✎ Hand on each other’s head, entwining the hair in between your fingers. 

✎ When the two of you wake up... 

✎ His hand isn’t tangled in your hair... 

✎ BUT YOUR HAND IS STUCK IN HIS HAIR- 

✎ “I guess we have to cut my hair-”

✎ you started crying immediately- 

✎ LEON FIX THEM-

✾ Nagito Komeada: 

✎ When you first reached for his head, he instinctively spun his head around to face you- 

✎ “S/O? What are you doing? Don’t tell me you were planning on breaking my neck so trash like me won’t exist anymore! Actually, I wouldn’t mind if that’s what you were going to do!” he chuckled with an innocent smile, “But could you tell me what you were planning to do with my head?” 

✎ Well- 

✎ That scared you- 

✎ he has some good reflexes to hear you go up to him- 

✎  but this has got you flustered- 

✎ “U-Uhm... I was gonna play with your hair? It looks fluffy,” you mumbled, though Nagito heard you. 

✎ “Oh... If that’s the problem, I don’t mind. Mess up my hair and do whatever with it! I doubt you would like my hair though!” he giggled again, same low-self esteem as ever <3

✎ As you touched his hair, it was exactly what you expected. 

✎ It was soft and surprisingly silky. 

✎ Since his hair is long you make some pretty nice hairstyles. 

✎ Braids are a must for this man’s hair. 

✎ Not even to mention simple styles, like a ponytail (TOTALLY A REFERENCE TO THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY PICTURE, ABSOLUTELY, I NEED TO MENTION THIS, I CAN’T GET OVER HIS HAIRRR) 

✎ Unlike what the other boys did, Nagito does not play with your hair, no matter how tempting. 

✎ His hands do not deserve to touch your hair- 

✎ Though he may have played with it once... 

✎ Okay maybe twice- 

✎ Though, it was only twice... and on accident- 

✎ His luck did it- 

✎ He swears that it wasn’t him and his own free will- 

✎ It was his luck- 

✎ I mean, he was walking, tripped onto you, and his hand managed to run through your hair-

✎ And then it happened again a few days after- 

✎ Those were the only times- 

✎ Your scalp massages are... difficult- 

✎ Why you may ask? 

✎ His hair is too long- 

✎ And whenever you go into his hair, it somehow gets tangled with you hand. 

✎ I don’t make the rules for his hair- 

✎ It just gets tangled easily- 

✎ But you don’t ever want him to cut it-

✎ Like, ever- 

✎ You’ll manage- 

✎ But, uh oh, another Makoto scenario happens and WHOOPS now he had to get a haircut-

✎ Nagito isn’t happy about it either, just know that- 

✎ He isn’t happy about it because it brought you despair, c’mon now-

✎ He’ll cuddle your though after so you feel better though :D

✎ So... 

✎ Not a total loss :D

✾ Byakuya Togami: 

✎ Honestly, you guys were on national T.V. 

✎ Seriously. You guys were literally on T.V. because of the news anchors rampaging into Hope’s Peak once. 

✎ It was an unlucky day for Byakuya-

✎ His hair was... Not cooperating with him that day.

✎ Not like you cared- 

✎ Okay maybe a little bit- 

✎ ...

✎ It got on your nerves- 

✎ So you literally sat up, got in front of him, not being subtle about it whatsoever, and you said, “Let me fix your hair.”

✎ Nothing else was said. He just... nodded and closed his eyes. 

✎ Granting you this permission, you started stroking his hair and trying to fix it. Taking off his glasses and ruffling his blonde locks a little, you started fixing it. 

✎ Then a bunch of men and women broke down the door- 

✎ You were not expecting that. You flinched and knocked your forehead against Byakuya’s- 

✎ “OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Byakuya shouted, obviously oblivious to the multiple cameras on the other side of the room. 

✎ “S-Sorry!” You yelled, backing away from him in a rush, though your couldn’t get far. 

✎ Yes, again- 

✎ Your hands were stuck in his hair. 

✎ Great- 

✎ As Sakura, Aoi, Makoto, and many others such as Leon told the people to get out, you were struggling on how to get your hands out of his lovely golden hair... 

✎ Not as bad now... 

✎ “What are you doing?” He asked, a bit of embarrassment on his face. 

✎ Unconsciously you started giving his head a massage- 

✎ WhOoPs- 

✎ “Oh! Sorry again, I’ll stop-” 

✎ “N-no no... Keep going...” He closed his eyes again as your fingers ran through his hair and pushed against his scalp. 

✎ Would you believe me if I said you two weren’t dating yet in this moment? 

✎ Because you guys weren’t- 

✎ Eventually, your hands got untangled and his gorgeous hair was saved. 

✎ Days after, Byakuya offered you to be his significant other. 

✎ And, duh, you said YES- 

✎ Though he isn’t big on PDA, me makes up for it when he allows you to play with his hair. Just twirling it around your finger makes you happy and your smile? He cannot resist it. 

✎ It was the first cute thing he had ever thought was cute- 

✎ He lets you do those scalp massages all the time, c’mon, he has work to do and he hides all the stress, lets face that fact- 

✎ By the way, tidy up his hair any day. If one strand of hair isn’t the way you like it, you can change it and he won’t get mad. Not in the slightest :D

✎ Byakuya loves how you make hairstyles for him, though he won’t tell. 

✎ But some of them... Can burn. Not his hair, his hair shall not burn, but those hideous designs? Yeah those can burn. 

✎ He’ll still let you do his hair that way if you want though-

Welp! I hope you liked this? It’s kinda short (for all of them of course) but I had no motivation to make this (aka i kinda liked this prompt so i did it, with the leftover of my motivation still in me :’D)

✾ Mod Mahiru ✾

✾ Snap Snap! Remember to Smile! ✾

[krappykawa]

I read your s/o who likes to read hcs and was wondering if you could do the same request format or whatever it is you'd call it but with terishima,akaashi, iwa, Oikawa,and Daichi? Sorry if that's a lot! -anon

with a s/o that likes to read (part 2)

— iwaizumi, oikawa, terushima, daichi, and akaashi

word count. 1.4k

genre. fluff

note. i made these ones shorter than the ones in part two because anon requested a lot of characters and i didn’t wanna run out of headcanons to write,,, i hope you still like this though!

part one here

IWAIZUMI.

- will read the books that you’re reading just because he likes the feeling of being able to bond with you over something you love since you’re so supportive of him already (literally the perfect man. perfect bf. give me a kiss rn RN!!)

- maybe not all of them, but if you get him hooked on the description, then he will probably finish the book faster than you

- if he doesn’t like a book very much he’ll take ages to finish it though

- if you ask him about how he’s doing with reading it he’ll be like “oh i’m almost done” when in reality he’s only 20 pages in

- he’ll send you texts about the books you recommend but they’ll be super blunt like “this character just died” or “oh they kissed”

- you sit at your phone for 20 minutes debating on how to respond to those because HOW??

- he loves cuddles,,,, would literally die for cuddles

- so when you climb into his lap with a book in hand and bury your head in his neck as you read his heart literally malfunctions

- his cute s/o with their reading obsession that he secretly finds so endearing climbing into his lap for cuddle time,,,,,, his heart goes &2:$84!;💞💖💘💖💓💖💞/):&38,

- iwaizumi.exe has stopped working

- but he’s also not afraid to pull you into his lap if he sees you reading on the couch

- he’ll probably put on a monster movie and just hold you as you read and he watches

- probably also buried his nose in your hair and revels in your scent (also kisses your head every so often because he can’t help it and AHHHH HES SO CUTE)

- when you start sending him messages about your books, he will attempt to respond to every single text or he will just wait until you’re done and text back with “u done?” (not in a mean way though) there’s no inbetween

- he’s smiling every time you send him those texts though

- aoba johsai’s volleyball team (ESPECIALLY OIKAWA) teases him mercilessly if they ever catch him smiling at his phone in the locker room or during class or during lunch (basically u text him a lot lol)

- sometimes when you slam your book shut and scream into your pillow, he will just watch you with amused eyes and probably make an offhand comment that’s similar to “remember to breathe while you’re at it.”

- you end up throwing the pillow at him (which he catches and then proceeds to walk to where you are and swing you over his shoulder)

- get your mind out of the gutter on the “over his shoulder” part i swear he’s just teasing you for throwing a pillow at him (I CAN FEEL YOUR MIND WANDERING STOP IT)

OIKAWA.

- he makes an effort to read your books, really he does

- he’s just really busy, so most of the books he promises he will read stay only half way read through and never picked up ever again

- if you give him a sci-fi book though, this man will literally finish it at an insane pace

- literally he would be the one to text you at some ungodly hour (usually 3AM in the morning) because he just finished the book in one sitting and he’s literally brimming with reactions

- will text things like “WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST DIED”, “YN SEND HELP I THINK THEY’RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID”, “OH MY GODDDD I HATE THIS BITCH CAN THEY STOP TALKING” (always in all caps whenever he’s reacting to a book)

- you better pray that he doesn’t end up hating a character because he will text you every single time they show up on a page and complain about them

- “this character reminds me of ushijima why would you put me through this 🤕🤕”

- or “THEYRE TALKING AGAIN?? WHEN WILL THEY GET THE MEMO THAT I WANT THEM TO . ST F U ‼️😻”

- anyways, if it’s not sci-fi, it’s probably sitting on his nightstand and never touched again until you steal the book back

- CLAIMS he tried reading them (he got 2 pages in and then put it down)

- he is also a huge cuddler

- but you will not be able to read in his lap because he’s so fucking whiny

- “y/n-channn pay attention to meeee. you can read about that insanely hot dude in your book when you’re not already sitting in an insanely hot dude’s lap”

- big pouty face

- it works every single time and you hate him for it

- once you put your book down he will not let you go for a good ten minutes

- he also has tons of pictures of you reading on his phone because he thinks you’re so cute and feels like he has to snap a picture so he can remember how cute you looked at that very moment

- a lot like iwaizumi, oikawa will attempt to reply to every single one of your book related texts (except oikawa succeeds at replying to every single one)

- like you could literally send him fifty text messages in a row and you will get fifty replies back

TERUSHIMA.

- i am so sorry to say this but i genuinely cannot see terushima being interested in your books whatsoever

- he thinks that it’s boring and always questions how you can just sit down for hours on end and just read

- this changes when you give him one of those insane, mind-boggling, really dark, murder-mystery books

- he’ll scoff at it but after a lot of begging on your part, he’ll give it a try

- he loves it

- he told you that he never got bored and that feeling like that while reading a book is so weird to him

- that is the only book you’ll ever get him to read though (okay maybe he’ll read a few more if you beg him for it with that cute pouty face of yours that he cannot resist)

- like he’ll treat that murder mystery book as a holy grail and insist that nothing will ever top it

- i’m sorry again but he probably texts you “what u doing rn?” and if you say something about reading he’ll try to get you to do literally anything else (most likely will send a horny text to try and steal you away from your reading, let’s be honest here)

- “come over baby you can experience all that you’re reading in that book first hand 😏😏😏”

- if you send him text reactions of your book he will most likely reply with “awe babe ur so cute” but not say anything about the books in itself (IM SORRY HE’S NOT MEAN ABOUT IT THOUGH)

- cuddling with him while reading will never happen

- seriously

- he will do everything in his power to get you to put the book down

- like start peppering you with kisses or tickling you

- he just can’t stand sitting down in silence for so long lol

- he doesn’t put you down for reading though

- like yeah he might not understand it and thinks it’s boring, but he admires that you care so much about it and also admires your commitment

DAICHI.

- admires you for reading honestly

- like i feel like he’s the type to get really good grades but will not look at a book that he hasn’t been assigned to read for his life

- that being said, he probably has never read any of the books you ask him to read with you

- he’s told you he’s read one or two which is a lie (you know it’s a lie but you don’t tell him that because you know he feels bad about not reading them)

- he isn’t on his phone often so most of the time your texts don’t get answered for hours

- it’s kinda fun that way though because after a while you just start sending him long text threads and it’s like talking to yourself

- when he does respond it’s with something like “you look like you had fun there” (after that he’ll apologize for not seeing it and then ask if you had anything else about the book that you wanted to tell him about AWEHISHFNF)

- very good listener!! he’ll try and have a genuine conversation about the book even if he hasn’t read it (like if you want to talk about how you think the plot doesn’t work, he will either support you or give you valid reasons that sparks constructive conversation)

- will absolutely never see the texts you send at 1AM (until the morning) because he always passes out before 11PM

- will see them in the morning and will text back “well good morning to me”

- he has absolutely no clue what you’re talking about in the texts but tries his hardest to be supportive

- cuddling while you’re reading happens nearly every single time you’re together

- is very stressed from dealing with his volleyball children so he’ll more than happily sit on the couch and cuddle with you as you read

- sometimes he falls asleep while you cuddle and you just snuggle into him and it’s so cute

AKAASHI.

- THIS LITTLE SHIT

- man oh man he loves acting like a smart ass whenever you text him about your books

- you’ll be like “my favorite character just died!!” and he’ll be like “well tell them to not die then wtf”

- will stay up late texting you about your book though because he’s most likely reading it with you so you two can bounce ideas off of each other

- if you like a character that he hates he will not hesitate to start a debate about why you shouldn’t like that character (full one page of reasons. this man takes his opinions very seriously)

- if you’re together at his house or something and you start yelling at your book he’ll be like “y/n don’t hurt its feelings.”

- you momentarily pause your yelling to deadpan him

- he stares right back

- “just be nice.” (you’re like BWAH???)

- HE ALSO YELLS AT HIS BOOKS THOUGH

- it’s uncommon but it does happen

- if you’re both reading or you’re doing homework and he’s reading, he’ll slam the book shut and yell about how stupid this character is (and when i mean yell, i mean yell)

- and if he doesn’t like the ending of something he will rant for days and you’ll have to remind him to take a breath

- he gets so hyped up from reading books it’s so cute

- will read with you when you cuddle read (does that make sense??? like when you cuddle with him while reading)

- will mumble things under his breath while you’re both reading but you’re on his lap so you can hear everything and you just laugh

- one time he mumbled “stupid bitch just fucking die already” to this character he hated

- you had to put down the book because you were laughing so hard

[demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol]

Bedtime Reassurances

[image credit to @aloneandblueascanbe​, pls let me know if you want it removed!]

pairing: frankie morales x gn!reader

words: 1.8k

content: one innuendo / reference to sex so 18+ only please, job related anxiety, mentions of a pandemic, one bad word, i switch from present and past tense sorry, another comfort fic but at this point is anyone surprised, soft gentle touches, verbal affirmations, frankie just being the best most encouraging bf in the world

a/n: okay so this is very similar to the other frankie fic i wrote, but i actually wrote this one first and this one has some lines that im really proud of, so i figured i’d share this one anyways!! i hope y’all enjoy this, and thank you so SO much to everyone who read my first frankie fic, seriously i cannot believe how much interest it got and i am constantly blown away by how incredible y’all are 💜💜💜 p.s. my taglists are a mess rn so don’t feel obligated to interact, and pls speak up if you want to be added or removed!

Frankie hums under his breath a little as he walks up the stairs. The two of you had just finished watching a new movie and his spirits were pretty high (although part of that might have been because of your reactions to the movie- your laughter, your smiles, your head bobbing to the catchy music). He flicked off the hallway light before entering you room, at which he promptly paused at seeing you perched on the bed wiping your eyes.

“Sweetheart?” he questions, and you look over at him before sitting up and blinking furiously. “Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He quickly takes a few steps over to you, but his hands hover by your sides to gauge your reaction to his sudden nearness before moving forward to slide them around your back. The last thing he wanted to do was move too fast and cause you to flinch.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine, I was just-,” you cut yourself off to take a stuttery inhale and a shaky exhale. “Just thinking, it’s not even related to anything.” Frankie tilted his head at you sympathetically as his mouth twisted into a small smile.

“If it has you this upset, I know it’s not nothing,” he paused, giving you a moment to process his words. “[y/n]” he whispered, and at hearing your name you look up to meet his eyes. “It’s me,” he said, with nothing but love and concern in his eyes. “You can talk to me. Please.” You blinked at him a couple times, and took a deep breath.

“I, um,” you stuttered and turned your eyes down, and you felt Frankie’s hand rub up and down your back. After a few deep breaths, you spoke. “I just started thinking about work again, and job hunting has been so stressful. And it all seems so scary. And I know it’s not, and I know I’m overthinking it, but I’m just so tired of starting over. And I’m just tired of not feeling good enough. And I’m sure these feelings are way too complicated over just a new job, but I’m just tired of constantly doing different things, and I know this is just the adjustment period making me feel this way, but I just want to be good at something, just one thing, and just do that one thing long enough to actually feel good about how I do that thing,” you paused to take a few deep breaths and at some point during your rambling you must have grabbed onto Frankie because both of your hands were gripping the front of his shirt. You loosened your grip a little and in response he held you a little tighter. As you met Frankie’s eyes for the first time, you couldn’t help but let out the small whimper at the pure understanding and love from him. It’s still so hard to believe that someone could look at you like that even in such a state. He brought one of his hands up to cup your cheek, and the other one wrapped around your waist.

“I’ve got you,” he said, and there was no way to not believe him when he was looking at you like that. “Just let it all out.”

“I’m afraid, but I’m also tired of being afraid, and I’m tired of not being good enough, and I’m just tired,” you laughed a little, even as tears filled your eyes. “I just want to be good enough.” Frankie’s heart cracks at your words, and as your eyes fill with tears, he feels his eyes start to sting too.

“Mi corazón. I promise you, every single person around you can see just how hard you’re trying. I know sometimes it’s hard for you to see, but every day I am in awe of just how much you do.” He sees your face scrunch up in the telltale way when you try to argue with him, so he tilts down to give you a soft kiss, and when he pulls away he can tell that put you in enough of a daze for him to keep going without you interrupting. “Despite what you struggle with, you get up and you help others, and you work on bettering yourself as a person, and you get stronger and kinder and more loving every single day. And every day I am beyond thankful that you let me into your life, that I get to be with you in the big moments and in the small moments, that I get to experience life through your eyes, because you see the world in such a way that it makes me feel so so young.” That gets a small smile from you, and now Frankie feels like he’s on a roll. “You’re kind to me and you’re kind to strangers and you’re even learning to be kind to yourself. You’re taking on the challenge of becoming a better person while also going after a new job while also doing it during a freaking pandemic.” Your breath hitches at that and while he doesn’t want to upset you, he never wants to upset you, he needs you to know this. “You think you’re behind everyone but you are leagues ahead in areas that some people aren’t gonna realize are important until years from now. And you’re doing that in a world where that isn’t the normal. And baby I am so proud of you,” he chokes up a little at that, and he sees worry creep up into your eyes as your hands come up to cup his cheeks, and ever so gently stroke the spot just below his eyes, already ready to wipe away any tears that might stray. “You are a wonderful person, a wonderful friend, and an even more wonderful lover. And I want you to go to bed, and wake up, and spend every minute of every day knowing that I love you so much and that there is so much good in you, and that you are stronger than any of your fears or anxieties or reservations, and that if you ever feel stuck I will always-,” he bumps his forehead against yours and he looks at you so head on that in that moment you feel he is looking straight into you, that he really does see everything he says he does, “-always, be right there by your side helping you out of the situation because I. Love. You.”

The first thing you noticed were his hands on your face, mostly because the pressure had increased, not in an uncomfortable way, just in a more noticeable way. And then you noticed the way his chest was moving, like saying everything he did genuinely winded him. And then you noticed his eyes, which if your being honest was probably the first thing you noticed because there’s no way not to: their deep, rich color with more depth than any other eyes you’ve ever seen, the almost imperceptible sparkle to them, because somehow this man’s eyes just sparkle, and the way that his eyes are the definition of love and compassion and trust, because there is no other way to describe them.

“Oh my gosh,” you whisper, because how on earth do you respond to that? As you wrap your arms around the back of his neck again and drag him down to kiss him, he pulls you closer as your lips touch and you press further into him because the need to have him so impossibly close is overwhelming. He breaks away for only a second before leaning back in, and he tilts you back to deepen the kiss. Your legs come up to wrap around his and he lowers you slowly all the way down onto the bed. When you break away you keep your hands firmly locked around the back of his head, keeping his forehead pressed to yours as you both catch your breath. “I love you so much,” you finally say, keeping your eyes locked on his. “I love you so dang much and sometimes I still can’t believe you’re here, with me, in our house, with me.”

“You better believe it baby, cuz there’s no getting rid of me,” his mouth cracking into a lazy smile as he nudges his strong nose against yours.

“Never,” you say, much more seriously than his joking tone warrants, but you need him to know, especially after everything he said. “I never want to get rid of you. I need you. I love you.” His eyes soften and while his teasing tone leaves, his smile never does.

“You’ll make it through this sweetheart, I promise. I’m here every step of the way.”

You beam at him, “Thank you Frankie. For everything. Everything.” Your eyes start to droop and he places a quick kiss on your nose before backing away to pull down the covers. You crawl up to the pillows, barely even acknowledging your own side in favor of his. He chuckles and crosses over to the other side, and when he’s under he cuddles you close before pulling up the blanket and securing it around you. “Tomorrow’s a new day, and somebody needs their beauty sleep to tackle their to do list.” You hum contentedly, wrapping your arms around him and slotting your head under his chin. His arms wrap around yours as he presses a kiss to your forehead and noses your hair.

“Well, you are definitely on my to do list because holy shit someone deserves some good sex for what you said,” you half mumble under your breath, and as Frankie breaks into a laugh he tries not to jostle you too much, but you caught him off guard and now he’s pretty much full on laughing, in the way that makes your heart clench a little because you love him and his beautiful laugh so dang much, the laugh that gives you so much pride because you’re the one that made it happen. When he settles down he pulls away slightly to look at you, and you are positively beaming at him, clearly proud of that joke you were able to come up with half asleep.

“Well there’s my [y/n],” he says in that deep raspy voice that only makes you smile more. He leans in to give your forehead a slow kiss.

“Thanks for finding me,” you whisper as you look up at him.

“Ehh, you’ve trusted me with most of your hiding spots, so I’ve gotten pretty good.” You prop yourself up on your elbow and place your hand on the side of his face to get a good look at him.

“But seriously Frankie, thank you. You always know exactly what to say, and I am so unbelievably grateful for you in so many ways.” His face goes as soft as he turns to give your palm a soft kiss, and you lean in one more time to kiss him properly before resuming your position. He gives you a gentle squeeze and it isn’t long until you’re drifting off to sleep in the arms of your love.

tag list: @keeper0fthestars​, @scribbledghost​, @icanbringyouincold​, @bestintheparsec-reads​, @ezrasarm​, @andriecastana​, @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​, @murdermewithbooks​, @remmysrecs​, @lv7867​

[allyreactions]

Dating NCT | Mark

- masterlist  requests : OPEN 

__________________________ 

║ pairings ; mark lee x fem! reader 

║ genre ; fluffy fluff, smut, angst 

║ word count ; 2.4k

__________________________

~ A/N : I’ve been so soft for Mark, I just had to let it out. also I think I went a little bit overboard ... I wrote so much. so please pretty please send me your feedback on it because I literally poured my heart into this post. thanks 🥺

                 ~ Admin Ally 

* gif credits to the owner *

♡ how you meet : 

you first met Mark at the local bookstore 

you were browsing through the fiction section, searching for your next read 

as you pursued the shelves, you slid your finger across the spine of the books 

until landing on the mystery novel you had been searching for 

you removed the book from the shelf and added it to the stack of books you were carrying in your other arm 

feeling satisfied with your collection, you proceeded to walk over to the lounge area to review the books 

you sat down in a large, green armchair and placed the stack of books next to you on the side table 

you picked up the first book, the mystery novel you had been dying to get your hands on, and started reading through the authors note on the inside cover 

as you were flipping through the pages, glancing at the chapters, someone tripped over your foot 

“oh, my bad” 

the boy shyly bowed and apologized 

“it’s okay,” you replied nodding back 

the boy continued on his way and walked over to the magazine section 

there he joined two other boys, you assumed they were friends 

you shrugged off the interaction and diverted your attention back to your book 

about 10 minutes pass by and you’ve glanced over each book you’ve found

you decided to buy the mystery novel and a YA romance novel 

you gathered your things before putting the other books back on the shelf 

you were back in the fiction section, your eyes scanning the shelves to find the correct place to put away a sci-fi novel when you heard some muffled giggling behind you 

you decided not to turn around and focused on finding the section of books that matched the one you were trying to put away 

“Johnny, I’m not gonna talk to her” a boy said in a whispered tone 

“you’ve been staring at her this whole time, go talk to her!” encouraged another boy, you assumed it was the boy names Johnny

you tried again to ignore the whispers behind you 

that is until you felt a tap on your shoulder 

you turned around and were faced with a black-haired blushing boy 

you glanced at the two boys behind him who were pretending to be inconspicuous, but failing at it 

one boy was tall with auburn hair and held a starbucks cup in his hand 

the other was slightly shorter with long blonde hair, is that a mullet? 

“I um, ..” the boy in front of you spoke 

you returned your gaze back to the shy boy 

“I uh, my name’s Mark” 

you were still very much confused as to what was going on 

you didn’t mean to, but the puzzled look on your face must have given the boy a bad feeling because he said 

“I don’t mean to bother you, but I um .. I think you’re really cute” 

his ears were bright red and he had trouble looking you in the eye 

he was so nervous

it’s charming 

“I promise I’m not a bad guy, but um, would you lie to go on um ... a date with me?” 

♡ first date : 

you guys had been talking for a few days leading up to your date 

Mark wanted to make sure you didn’t think he was some sort of weirdo for asking you out in Barnes and Noble 

and he wanted you to at least get to know him before going out 

and the two of you discussed your schedules and were able to set up a date and time for the two of you to go out 

and Mark, being the gentleman that he is, decided to take you to a restaurant for your first date 

he wanted to keep things sort of traditional and classy and make you feel special 

he’s a softie like that 

he really wanted to impress you by dressing nice in a blazer and dress shoes 

he wanted to prove that he’s more than just the nervous, giggly guy you found in a bookstore 

ugh im so soft

anyway, Mark picks you up and you two head to the restaurant together 

once you’re seated at your table, the waiter takes your orders for drinks and appetizers 

once she leaves, there’s nothing but silent tension 

Mark’s hand flies to the back of his neck, nervously fildeling with the hair behind his head.  

“you look really nice” he said, his voice was low

you could sense the anxiousness by his tone 

“thanks, you look really nice too” you said, returning the compliment 

there was another long pause 

“how are your books? I.. I mean the ones you bought last week” Mark asked, he was making an effort to start a conversation 

the two of you had no problem talking over text, but the both of you are clearly nervous around each other 

was it because both nervous and socially awkward? or was it the sexual tension? 

who knows 

eventually the awkwardness subsided sort of 

Mark was still visibly nervous 

he kept rubbing the back of his neck and would stutter every so often 

it was cute that he was nervous

but it’s all part of his charm 

I mean, that’s the reason you agreed to go out with him in the first place

alright, back to your dinner 

you were able to have a decent conversation with him 

the two of you discussed your family and friends, your hobbies and interests 

nothing too wild 

but the whole time, Mark listened to you intently 

he would ask questions, furthering your conversation 

he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know you and learning about your interests 

it was refreshing and sweet 

every so often, he would crack a joke

and they were always so cheesy and dorky 

but it was cute, so you laughed along 

after your meal, Mark had offered to walk you home before it got too late

he wanted to make sure you got home safely 

when you arrived at your doorstep, the two of you exchanged goodbye’s 

“I had a good time tonight” you said 

“I’m glad, so did I” Mark smiled back shyly 

you placed a soft peck on his cheek 

his cheeks flushed pink and the tip of his ears turned bright red

“Good night beautiful” Mark said, taking ahold of your hand 

he leaned in and gently kissed your forehead

♡ living together / couple stuff : 

everyday with Mark is an adventure 

and I mean that in the best way 

Mark is always full of surprises 

sometimes he’ll be sitting in the living room and just start strumming his guitar and sing soft ballads and his voice would echo through the house

or you’ll be fixing dinner for the two of you in the kitchen and you’ll hear his infectious laughter from the living room 

you and Mark have tons of inside jokes

he’s always making cheesy jokes 

like even if his jokes aren’t funny 

you’ll still laugh along because he’s just that cute and clueless 

sometimes he’ll come home and share stories about his day 

like he’ll talk about the producers he met with and the songs he’s been working on with them 

and he’ll get super excited too 

“babe, I can’t wait for you to hear the finished product” 

not that that he wants validation from you, but hearing you praise him for his work and his music really gives him an ego boost

who doesn’t want to hear the love of their life compliment them on their passions? 

also, you’re a huge inspiration and muse to him

now not every song he write its written about you, but when it comes to love songs on nct albums or a superm album, you’re always at the forefront of his mind when contributing to love lyrics 

he loves adding little nods to your relationship in his music 

it’s his way of showing his love for you 

but it’s not always in just lyrics, he can also be romantic in his actions 

although he can be a little awkward sometimes

he’s just a sweet puppy okay? be gentle with him 

Mark is a big cuddle bug 

he’s kind of clingy when he returns home from tour and promotions 

and he wants to spend as much time with you as possible when his schedule is clear 

mornings with Mark are an experience 

he absolutely loves to treat you to breakfast in bed 

but Mark isn’t the best chef 

so he’ll either try his best at making you eggs and toast 

or he’ll stop by your favorite cafe and purchase a to-go order 

Mark loves making you feel special in any little way he can

but let’s talk about the night time 

after dinner, the two of you like to cuddle up and watch the newest kdrama episode on tvN or just watch a random bad movie on Netflix to make fun of 

you’ll of course have a big bowl of popcorn and finish it within the first 10 minutes of the movie 

and when the movie is over, you’ll walk to your shared bedroom 

and cuddle up under the blankets and snuggle into Marks chest 

because of course he’s the big spoon 

and you’ll interlock fingers 

sometimes when neither of you can sleep, Mark encourages you to talk about whatever is on your mind 

because sometimes you have too much going on and you mind is just so full that you can’t sleep 

Mark is super understanding and just offers his ear to you 

he’ll comfort you if there’s anything serious going on 

Mark is just super supportive and loves having deep conversations with you 

he loves how these deep conversations bring the two of you closer together because it strengthens your trust in one another

♡ arguments : 

Mark doesn’t seem like the confrontational type 

and the two of you don’t fight often 

like I had mentioned before up above, you and Mark tend to tell each other everything 

there’s not much that you hide from each other 

and you guys have such a strong bond that jealousy doesn’t really affect you both 

but that doesn’t mean that life stresses can’t affect you 

now we all know that we tend to take out our frustrations on the people we love 

so I feel like most of the bumps in your relationship could be related to the stresses from work and everyday life 

like sometimes you just have a bad day at work

you boss is in a mood and takes it out on you, so you bring home that frustration and eventually take it out on Mark 

even though you don’t mean to 

another example may be the stress about your public relationship with him as an idol 

obviously if you received hate, it might have an effect on your actions towards your boyfriend

you become distant and closed off a bit

the comments say that you don’t deserve someone like Mark, and even though you know they’re wrong that doesn’t mean their words don’t hurt 

and when Mark realizes how closed off you’ve been, he’ll try to talk with you about it 

of course he won’t force you to talk about things until you’re ready 

but Mark can be a little fragile, and the fact that you’ve been distant would hurt him 

and when he hears that you’ve been doubting that you’re worthy of his love really hurts him 

he’ll comfort you and rub the tears from your face

seeing you cry just breaks his heart 

♡ sexy time :

okay, now I’ve said this before, but Mark is a soft dom, possibly a switch

listen, don’t cancel me 

I feel like Mark puts on a show that he’s super kinky 

and his lyrics from ‘whiplash” and ‘drippin’ are proof of that 

but when it comes down to the wire, I think he’s actually kind of nervous at first 

sex with Mark for the first time is a sweet experience 

of course, y’all aren’t going to jump straight into choking on the first night 

Mark is a gentleman

a good christian boy 

Mark is a soft dom for your first time 

he’s very gentle and he takes his time, making sure that you’re comfortable and satisfied every step of the way 

he places kisses all over your body, making sure he pays attention to every inch of your body 

Mark pays attention to every moan and whimper that falls from your precious lips

he’ll leave love bites and markings in all your sensitive spots 

his thrusts are slow and deep, making it easier for you to feel every inch of him completely fill you

I can’t see Mark finishing inside you for the first time, but creampies are definitely something he’s into 

*cough* drippin by nct dream and drop by superm *cough* 

he really likes creampies 

but once the two of you get comfortable with each other and settle into your relationship, that’s when the kinks come out 

I would say that Mark is open to experimenting in bed 

and even though the both of you are comfortable with each other, Mark is still slightly awkward when talking about sex with you 

it’s just who he is 

when it comes to trying out things that you’re interested in, that’s when I feel like Mark would take the backseat 

he’d sub on those nights 

it’s just easier for you to take control when doing things that you’re interested in

but when it comes to you wanting Mark to choke you or spank you, I feel like he would be a little hesitant at first 

he just doesn’t want to hurt you 

he’s not sure how strong his grip should be around your throat 

he’s not sure how hard he should spank you 

what level of pain did you want to receive? 

but once he saw your response and heard your begging, he’ll start to get into it 

he’ll thrust into you hard and fast, his grip around your throat will tighten

he watches as your eyes roll back in pure pleasure, until you finally climax and cry out his name in ecstasy 

he loves watching you cum all over him

I can see him wanting to try out cockwarming, but he’s somewhat nervous when brining it up to you 

cockwarming is something the two of you do when you’re cuddling after sex

of something that you do in the morning when it’s cold outside and you just want to cozy up and share each other’s warmth 

it’s an intimate thing that Mark’s been interested in trying out, and sharing moments like that with you would be pretty meaningful for him 

[abbyandersonbicep]

my mentors little sister

Part 4

Yelena Belova x fem!reader

Warnings: my writing and bad grammar except for that none

A/N i’m sorry this took so long i hope you all enjoy it! feel free to leave a comment:)let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next chapters

@xxxtwilightaxelxxx

The next day arrived way too fast for your liking.

Being woken up way too early by an excited Wanda wasn’t nearly as much fun as it sounds. Neither is being forced to help her pick out a dress.

„Wan just wear the dark red one it looks fine”

„But what about this one ?” Wanda exclaimed holding up a simple yet elegant black dress.

„Thats a nice one too, just please decide soon im getting hungry”

Wanda just playfully rolled her eyes at your comment.

After a few more minutes which felt like hours to you Wanda decided that she was getting hungry too.

„Come one (Y/N/N) let’s get you some food” she said while holding out her hands for you to take so she could help you get up.

You made your way to the kitchen to find Sam and Steve discussion something probably mission related but you didn’t really care all you had in mind rn was getting food into your system.

After one look in the fridge you groaned at it’s poor sight, basically no food was left. As you turned to ask Wanda about the food situation Natasha and Yelena walked into the kitchen.

Your eyes immediately fell onto the blonde girl who seemed only vaguely interested in what was going on around her. You shot a small smile at her which instantly caused you to blush when Yelena returned the smile. Noticing the blush on your face she shot a small wink at you while chuckling to herself. You turned away feeling your face get even hotter than it was before.

„We could order some pizza” Natasha suggested snapping you out of your thoughts.

„Pizza sounds good right now” Yelena added.

After lunch, which took longer than you expected it to, you made your way to your room to get ready for the party, planning on taking a long relaxed shower and getting ready slowly and wothout any stress.

Stepping in the shower you feel the hot water hit your tensed up shoulders making you feel relaxed. You just started shampooing your hair as you heard a knock and an enthusiastic Wanda

„Hurry up we don’t have all day! Nat and Yelena should be here in 10.”

You instantly groaned at the thought of socializing before the actual socializing even began. Getting out of the shower you put on some sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt letting your wet hair fall over your shoulders.

„You know I hoped I could have some time to relax before the party starts” you told your friend, who gave you an apologetic look.

„I’m sorry (Y/N) but I promised them that we would get ready together and you know your the best with eyeshadow” she says trying to get a smile out of you.

„You know you could just learn it yourself its not that hard” you shot back at the brunette.

„That would be way to easy” Wanda smiled at you while bopping your nose playfully finally getting you to smile a bit.

„I know it not easy for you with all these people around all the time but i think it’s good for you, i mean getting you out of your shell” she added while hugging your side to hers.

„I guess so” you nodded.

Upon hearing a knock announcing the arrival of the two ex-assassins.

„Come in” you said just loud enough for the both to hear.

Natasha walked in first carrying a curling iron having her hair already done nicely, straightened just long enough to touch her shoulders. Yelena on the other hand was in a state that could be more compared to you and Wanda at the moment, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie with her hair thrown into a messy bun.

About two hours and a lot of hair curling later you were finally done with your hair styles meaning it was now time for make up.

„I promised Lena that you would do her make up since she won’t let me near her face anymore and trust me you don’t want her doing it herself” Nat chuckled.

„I can do it! It shouldn’t be a problem” you replied while feeling a familiar heat rising uo your neck.

With Wanda and Nat already taking up all the chairs your room had to offer you had no other choice than sitting on the bed and doing Yelena’s make up there, which would prove itself way harder than expected.

„Do you have any specific ideas of what you want ? “ you asked shyly looking down suddenly finding your feet very interesting.

„Please just don’t do anything too crazy otherwise im fine with anything” she blond smiled down at you at which you nodded and started to collect some basic items you would need.

„I’m not gonna do some thick foundation because you have great skin already and it would only look unnatural if thats okay with you” you started to ramble to the russian in front of you.

„That’s perfectly fine with me just do your thing and im sure it will turn out nice” she answered you in a rough but soothing and soft voice you never heard her use before.

You quickly got to work and got the face part done fairly fast and without any complications, the eye part however was a whole new level of complicated.

„Can you close your eyes please?”

Yelena closed her eyes at your request.

With her sitting on the edge of the bed and you sitting next to her it proved it self quite difficult for you to properly apply the eyeshadow. Yelena heard you shifting trying to find a comfortable way to apply the eyeshadow.

Suddenly she moved to the middle of your bed pulling you slowly to strandle her lap looking at your face for any sign of discomfort.

„Is this alright?” she asked softly looking at you

„Yes its good” you managed to choke out quietly, hearing Wanda and Natasha lightly chuckly at your surprised voice.

„You two are cute together you know” Natasha commented at the state you to were in right now.

„I agree with widow, you two are really cute” added Wanda sending you a smirk.

„We are gonna go change, see you later! Have fun” The red head smiled at you two already on the way out of the room dragging Wanda with her, just giving the younger woman enough time quickly shot you two a „but not too much fun”, leaving you with you and your crush alone.

Trying to hide your embarrassment from the pretty blonde in front of you, you started to quickly finishing up her eyes with some mascara moving to get some lipstick to finish up her look.

„Open your mouth a bit” you instructed which Yelena happily complied.

Carefully you started to fill in her soft lips, not noticing the way she looked at you with a soft look in her eyes as you were concentrated in not overdrawing her lips.

„Alright you’re done” you told her while closing the lipstick already making you way down from her lap, as she suddenly pulled you in softly by your waist closer to her body, so that now you were completely sitting on top of her legs. That familiar heat making its way up your neck onto your face leaving you blushing once again.

„Can i kiss you?” she whispered ever so softly to you, at which you nodded ,whimpering a small almost not noticeable „please”. Yelena wasting no time carefully pressed her lips onto yours. You felt you body go weak and you brain go fuzzy at the feeling of her lips moving in sync with yours. Not wanting to break the kiss just yet you felt your arms automatically moving around her neck pulling her in even closer to, you felt her smile at your attempts pulling her even closer not wanting to let go just yet, Yelena ran her tongue over your bottom lip slightly testing the waters when she heard you whimper quietly causing her to smile again. After a couple of minutes you both pulled away out of breath resting your foreheads against eachother not wanting to let go of the feeling.

Yelena was the first one to open her eyes looking at you with a soft smile she kept away from the public eye only letting it slip a few times around you. Opening your eyes you looked at her smiling.

„You’re adorable you know that right?” she exclaimed at your facial expressions only for you to bury your face into her neck.

A/N i hope you all liked it!

[mycelier]

My name is Simone and I would like to tell you a tale!

I will not have access to my laptop for some days more and because writing on my phone is kind of painful (physically, because I am working on hand mobility now), this may end up in drafts and taking a while to post. I am going to share what has been happening the last 2 months because I feel like everything went from 0 to 100 in the span of a few weeks and its been really, really wild.

So!!! LETTUCE begin!

For roughly 5 years I've been struggling to get a diagnosis on an extremely painful area of my arm. There was literally nothing visible; no lump, discoloration or any other physical abnormality to indicate anything was wrong. I spent thousands on pretty much every kind of imaging you can do, and was told time and time again that there was nothing wrong and, perhaps, it was psychosomatic and I needed therapy or, more often than not, I was given a shrug and a vague "i dunno" response.

This year, something changed. I deal with chronic pain (my spine is congenitally fused in my neck and lower spine and I have baby bone spurs all over), and in the process of trying to work on that I brought up my arm again to a dr I no longer see. He'd told me my arm was SEVERAL things over the years I had been seeing him but this time said it was a fibromyalgia knot, something I had been told by a team of doctors some time before that. I said okay cool and was sent to a physical therapy rehab center where the dr worked with myofascial release and stretches to help with injuries. This amazing man fixed my plantar fasciitis and helped get my chronic headaches under control but NOTHING we did helped my arm pain. Within a month he was worried bc we had started to notice that there was a hardness to the spot that never changed with any exercise or massage.

Worried that there was a nerve being trapped or crushed (another diagnosis I'd gotten over the years), this amazing man sent me to a neurosurgeon who immediately frowned and said he didn't think my neck pain and my arm pain were connected. He ordered an MRI of my arm and despite it not being visible on an MRI 2 years before, he found something PHYSICALLY THERE where I said I had pain. He considered doing the surgery to remove it (despite being a neurosurgeon he was fascinated with this weird horribly painful spot) but eventually sent me a surgeon for an oncology center, assuring me it was because this new surgeon was one of the best in Texas for removing soft tissue tumors, not because there was any thought of cancer.

I met with the surgeon who gave me one more diagnosis of an AVM (arteriovenous malformation), snd said they were benign and not necessary to remove as well as the possibility that if removed it would likely return. Truly, at this point after 5 years of constant nauseating horric pain when someone brushed against me or if I gently brushed against ANYRHING, a pain so bad that it had basically made me stop using my right arm as much as possible (of course I'm right handed lol), I said GET THAT FUCKER OUT OF THERE MAN and my first surgery was scheduled.

Surgery one occurred Nov 5th and was an out patient event. I went home and passed out. At some point my mom said that while I'd been in recovery the dr said the thing in my arm hadn't looked like what he expected so he had sent it to pathology. I went back to work and was hanging out until the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when I went in for a super immediate meeting with a different doctor who told me that what had been in my arm was a synovial sarcoma, aka, cancer! He, this incredibly kind man I did not know, gently discussed chemo and told me I needed to have a CT scan immediately. Based on the CT, i was either in stage one or stage four if it has spread to lungs. The day before Thanksgiving I received the news that it was stage one, it had not spread, and i was so fucking happy.

Then it was time talk about next steps. My surgeon marked out a circle on my arm to indicate how much he was gonna remove in order to guarantee clear margins..but it was not enough of a meeting for me to grasp the surgery I was about to receive.

The day of my second surgery, dec 8th, came quickly and i met with the plastic surgeon, the kindest, most patient man. He moved my arm around and explained how he was going to hijack a vein from my forearm in order to keep the blood flow health to the flap he was gonna take from the donor site: My inner thigh.

It has been 11 days and I am living in an inpatient rehab facility, working on dealing with the nerve damage/pain, the EXTREME pain of my donor site, and the lost mobility that I am working on getting back, both in my leg and my hand. The majorities of my arm is numb...except where the nerve pain burns my wrist and forearm and makes it painful to wear my arm sling (I can't fully extend my arm, nor can I lift, push, pull or use my arm in any way that would stress out my new arm flap). Also may have a brand new urinary tract infection but as I write this I'm chugging water for a urine sample to hopefully get that treated. Below are some pictures I have taken/had taken of my arm! Im not ready to look at my leg outside of the bandages (which, since having the wound vac removed today, hell yeah, will need daily dressing changes).

EDIT: I tried posting pictures of my arm last night and my post disappeared immediately so I will try to make a new post with these photos in case the whole post was erased because of them. I will tag them as post surgery photos. I do not consider them gory or excessive but hey that's just me.

I intend to post more things as I keep healing and as I gain more mobility. I was given "independence" in my room yesterday which means I can officially get up without any assistance needed (using my badass new cane to help me lift my foot in and out of bed)!!!! Which also means I can get up whenever I want without the bed alarm going off. I have a badass cane that has been the best tool in helping me get around (and has inspired my mom and others to suggest and look into getting me a cane sword which makes me laugh REAL hard). See below me using the cane to move my foot in and out of bed!

Part of why I'm posting this is because I really needed to talk about it and while later posts may not be this long or expository but I wanted to have a base post to explain other ones related to this one!!!

I will update with some newer pics tomorrow night when my mom comes by to help me take newer pics. The arm flap looks super healthy (according to the drs), and when they changed my leg dressing they said its looking really good and healthy!

I......also really wanted to post my Amazon wishlist. Due to this stupid wild bad lottery ticket, I've been struggling to pay my bills and rent but!!! I have good insurance, thankfully (since I live in the US and my hospital stay and this rehab stay would have more than bankrupted me), and im hoping my disability checks will get here in time for rent!!! I'm putting up my wishlist bc I can't afford some of the "essentials" on there and, also, because I havent been able to have any kind of comfort during any of this. I never ask for anything for holidays because usually i...dont want to burden people with spending money on me since I know how hard money is, especially right now. And if I don't have enough for rent later I might have to create a go fund me...but right now everything looks good for rent and bills just...not for anything fun.

Thank you so much for your time!!! And happy holidays you wild bastards!!!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/36PG6BAYD18U7?ref_=wl_share

[crackcrocs]

DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #3

3. Transformation Central

the entities of my personalities would like to come together in one voice that speaks through me, we or I call this collection of words from the mustiest corners of my brain to this note page to voice something that might come close to what I feel underneath the skin I wear. In all my unorganised words- I might even go as far as to call this a poem, titled:

‘TRANSFORMATION CENTRAL’

sub characters in my head would appreciate if this could be visualised & understood through as deep a lens as humanly possible. even I confuse myself so if you can decode or relate to any of this, wonderful. If not, I’m locked in my own mind, swallowed the keys to my soul.

SIMILARITIES & INTERCONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN HUMAN & PLANT CONSCIOUSNESS EXIST! if you look closely at my nose freckles you’ll see the resemblance of the constellations above. if you look at the human veins & the layout of a tree, this is further proof.

{VISUALS THROUGH A SEPIA WINDOW STARING @ THE AUTUMN LEAFS; IMAGINING THE SEEDS UNDERNEATH, THROUGH NUMB ROOT VESSELS THAT PERMEATE THROUGH EVERY MEMBRANE OF MY EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT}

~FEATURING THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF DEPRESSION & PERFECTIONISM.

here goes:

What is this part of my mind ?

If you want; delve inside-

I may look sweet like Alice,

but underneath it all

I deteste looking in the mirror

-cos I see the mad hatter.

my inner child needs a platter-

full of care not distortion & abuse pls.

less fibbin would’ve been a breeze.

now following the dead fish in the stream!

HOW on EARTH do I fit with the cod & the Haddock?

I’m the rainbow fish- beat & battered.

dim my own light cos I’m too afraid to shine.

alone.

thieves tried to steal my shiny scales.

I sat and watched them grow.

In the sea realm they were mean gargantuan selfish whales, with poisonous shark fangs & alligator tails. scorpion hands. (gremlins)

and still they make me feel like the alien-

I cant take it.

Make it make sense ?

I can’t.

controller in my hand-

Off balance stance.  

anxiously I move round like a wobbly jelly.

where’s the button to balance my chi & shut out the ego ?

the teLLIE telling lies to our vision!

change the channel aura terracotta orange- daily dosage of vitamin D & C.

catch me sun gazing by the sea

head buzzin like a bee.

speaking from a dusty box

stuck on top of a forbidden shelf

cos I dunno how else.

I’m tryna delve deep but forgot how to dive

How can i visualise? scenery foggy-

the establishment man with the glue gun got me xD

inner monk burning but at peace

Cos I refuse to believe

If the only way is the American dream

Interconnected; like the frog in science -let’s dissect it!

down to every floating atom spirit neighbouring your door

subcategories & divisions, it’s more!

than the rich and the poor -prism that’s been built

do we all feel like a performance monkey on stilts?

will my data be extracted & used to mould a robots personality some day?

well obviously not.

does the price of our lives all amount down to slave ways?

LABOUR YAY!

but morals & values it seems we’ve forgot.

sO If i don’t speak its cos I’m lost.

or maybe i’m enlightened-

Standing at the edge of the porch;

watching TRYING to understand how the flowers grow.

questioning eVERYTHING man made!

I’ve stepped out of the perfect picture frame

I can see the coal pollute the sky

I need to hop on the train-

but I’m comfortable

Sunset to sunrise statue standing still.

what’s the ingredients to life’s yucky pie?

I’ve exceeded mental lotteries.

Sanity n universal peace would be a trophy.

TIL then I’ll be crafting & shaping a solid pottery reality,

with a few pence, gum, and a bandana of belongings tied to stick.

thinking one day I’ll be laying the bricks

& building a kingdom of bliss.

guess for now I’ll use the intricate delicate materials in my tool box- that’s all I’ve got.

might have a long way- maybe worth a shot.

I observe, cruisin in the sky.

dunno why..

I jus look @ the hills.

Only time & history reveals.

no thanks mr men-

I don’t want your prescription pills.

there’s enough propaganda as it is.

I won’t jump on the merry go round-

til my core trusts & envisions we’ll actually feel safe!

I don’t want to take part in this faux fur, sweet nothings & a jack in a box punching blur, so called future.

oh and genuinely thanks quarantine-for once again, I can hear bird sounds!

guess this is me tryna speak out loud!!!...

it’s not thrilling

system  time killing everything-

mother nature’s oxygen

everything is nauseating

clock ticking, I better start creating.

they should write a book on how to be free when the system set us up to believe that we’re tied to the cut down trees that gives them a currency of greed that they breed.

If blindfolded, I don’t wanna eat what they feed.

Whilst they profit of us -tell us smile and the bandits don’t wanna see us happy.

they’re too busy robbing all our hoods.

In exchange for the silence, they’ve granted us with a 21’st century fashion garment of a slave muzzle! labelled conform.

More delusion to add to the already desensitised norm.

zootonic diseases, welcome covid 19 to your plastic kiddy tea party!- apologies for questioning your motive!

Been handed too many hot plates with a post it note saying HOLD THIS.

we’ll be okay just hush.

Same Shan message told to every generational seed.

If we don’t TRY overpower-

we’ll never succeed!

it’s getting even more scary.

Artificial intelligence.

Societal negligence..

my canvas isn’t clear-dunno am I schizo ?

finger painting, cos it makes more sense.

struggling to blend.

borderline conspiracist pretending to be fine;

moving the goal post, hovering above the race line.

who made the chalk? who set the lanes?

I wanna know it all, maybe¿ far past insane.

I can fit all I need in the palm of my hand,

Maybe even less! cut a finger off not sure it’ll even add stress.

hi from personality Peter, even sober- always away with the fairies.

Pass the pixie dust, I’m in a rush

Found shelter in the comfort of pan physicists timer, no not the one on your phone!

Ring ring, skeptical! is it my demon or my mommy on the phone?

I’m stuck in the airspace of an infinite glass filled with beach particles trying to form myself standing up still attempting not to slip through the hands of my very own discovery.

time is running out & ill go when I go.

I’m sitting inside the fly trap -

stardust, chakras can you feel the sensation colors like a starburst.

deep emotion is a curse.

still entrapped in the sand dune of nothingness-

flipping a domino monopoly of solidified thoughts as I sway with the wind.

I’m the trapped sandbox in the playground & the slipping sand in my own hands.

Inhale chronic but I wanna enter the quiet realm of white noise

-color of a wife beater vest, calmer than the ease in ignorance of a red neck.

sadomasochistic, messes.

but oblivion, seems like less stress.

Unfortunately I can see, with all eyes

empathetic paralysis, gets me vexed.

Punching truth into the core of your chest!

It’s not funny, neither is the one on the receiving end..

My limbs are numb

& im done playing octopus alchemy.

I want minimalism & life can be simple,

Evil entities have made it hard.

Maybe I’ve got stars above my head like an old cartoon character.

But I can’t make it make sense, are they out to get me. worse all of us? Or have I bottled myself tryna re mesh the broken shards,

I feel glued to the floor cos there’s a pretty price to pay if you want more.

I see life through a different lense, maybe born downside up, Benjamin button I came out the back door-

Outside looking in, digesting confusion.

Is to be a product of environment a sin?

rummage through my messy brain.

personalities sardine packed in this tin

I’m the wizard of my mania

Scaring & attracting the black crows-

they’re my friends.

Sometimes still a cowardly lion

Roaring pain & true riddles at the wrenching wicked witch posse of the west.

will my voice ever be loud enough to shed light wit my words and grate the sweet zest

In to the cake i’m baking?

Probably not.

Got more thoughts than the autumn leaves collected by the garden rake. alone.

gathering & storing the pains of yesterday.

sometimes I stay in line

Other times in my head Im on my hands juggling out of time.

but I really don’t mind if I lose or win.

we all have a pace

I jus don’t want the 1% to win the race.

It’s unfair!

Humanity does anyone care ??

Half lady

half fairy

Good  MOOrning-

from my anagrams.

no I’m not a cow.

twister fidget spinner brain in the flesh-

form of expression this time around lyrics.

feel I’m jus a silly rubix

& still mourning

I don’t like dairy

pass the oat milk.

Are you aware the industry are sabotaging our diets?

we want peace!

the powerful elite-

perceive & deceive

the scene they want us to be.

chuck the narcissistic psychopathic pie back in our face-

every time we almost found & addressed the Programme & Control man in the maze.

evil & extroverted- he said that the anarchists have to be the cause of riots.

working isn’t class. I said let’s switch roles- he said pass.

It’s piss! Who’s got the bomb & the guns?

Who got the land? off wit OUR heads 4 fun!

it’s pure scary.

Pharmaceutics handshake.

with the cooked up suppliers, also crooked wack liars.

I’d rather shot a gallon of bloody blubbery infused slaughter house milk

If it meant we didn’t use cocoons for silk.

why not add a drizzle of bleach to the concoction & maybe that’s a reach.

every time I guzzle fakeness, it taste peak.

I want real fruit, what next-

a seedless peach ???

what’s the difference between a weirdo & a freak?

layers & levels to the shit.

Magnifying tapping the window of society, I’ll be puffing green til I get to the land of Oz.

sponge soaked soaking up emotions

Suffocated by deduction of care in life

feel entrapped in this paradigm

what am I thinking ?

got the verbs & a cuppa tea

It’s mixed with torment & desire to be free.

I’d rather be awake than asleep

When I get too comfy I feel weak

Demons they reap

underneath

rip the seems as I bleed

Concrete

Solid

Emotions

Is all you’re getting

It’s all sad scenes in the imagery I’m setting

people need care we seem to be forgetting

why are we in debt wit

a posse of clowns

pay the price so we can get a frown

here’s some seratonin

quit ya moaning

life is all sound

aw yeh¿  if you’re not an over thinker!

product of environment- Sirius flickers

theyve done a ritual like it’s Wicca

now here’s your gold sticker..

for managing to co operate.

In this world fuelled off of evil n hate

waking ups a bloody disgrace

I am not amazed.

Man I love my fam n my friends

Just hate this part of my brain that feels the need to play pretend

sometimes I feel insane

but I’m calm

need to escape so I don’t do harm

Gold lioness in the sky by the sea

with puff the magic dragon

fire out my mouth, fuel helps me breathe

I will shine bright

Promise imma be alright

even tho I’m not sure why

I function like this

I wanna be myself

It’s just hard to find the comfortability

To feel happy and pretty

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Ring around sing about overdose emotions

Sorry dunno how to communicate

Heads in a constant debate

Should I go or should I stay

My head clashes

Burnin the next ciggy as my thoughts become ashes.

[uwuowotf2waslife]

The mercs with an s/o who is on the autism spectrum? If you want to

 as a person with diagnosed autism( ASD that later changed to SCD but concidering my countrys lack of proper diagnosis and non-existant support when i was growing up, im not sure,it might was a result of chronic abuse or i was a really weird kid) its my duty to answer this ask,

always know that you are perfect with all your imperfections 

just because maybe your brain is wired different it doest make you less of a person

you are poetry

Scout

-my boy has adhd ( probably undiagnosed until he was examined by Medic) so you two might have a little problem at the begining.

-he might be the closest to a jack russel in human form, but he cares about you and is willing to sit down and do his research so he can understand you and your struggles. He isn’t a hypocrite, he is a hyperenergetic bundle of daddy issues and is sure he will annoy you from time to time, he annoys pretty much everyone except his mom on rare occasion, he is a hanfull and he knows that years now. But he also has come to understand that everyone has struggles and little things that make them more special than others.

-if you have problems with communication , he’ll be your mouth .Problems with sensory overstimulation? he will escort you to the safest place and hug you tighter than he thought hes capable of. People mistreating or bullying/insult you? the bat is in his hands and his ready to hit home runs on their balls. You might not be the perfect couple, you will struggle like every couple and have fights and arguments, but he is ready to phase every difficulty that comes on your way. He loves you and he is here for the ride even if its bumpy.

Soldier

-( I and i think a big part of the community claim he is actually autistic) Probably the most tricky of the mercs, since at one side he might completely relate/understand you and the relationship go smoother than soft butter on bread, or he might have problems communicating the relationship problems with you.

-as all relationships you two must sit down and communicate your problems. Believe me he isn’t mentally retarded ( a horrible misconsumption ive seen being thrown around), yes he is stubborn and can’t read social cues to save his life, but he is a loyal beefcake with a golden heart hardened by a lifitime of war. He knows he isn’t the perfect man, he has nightmares and panic attacks on the regualr after so much trauma in his life. But he also knows that if he S/O needs him, it doesnt matter if its a small or big thing, he is ready to go through hell and back to make them happier or more comfortable 

-you can’t stand loud noises? copy that privet, he will stop yelling/ screaming around you. Certain things make you uncomfortable/ anxious? hes at your side and he is ready to snap necks...you have his heart and his adoration, he ain’t a coward or a pansy, you’ll win over any challenge that comes your way like the absolute unit you are and he is there to assist

Pyro

-fresh from the start they can recognise you have autism, i lowkey think they might be ( actually in young adults asd and mild schizophrenia can be mixed and confused by not good qualified doctors, its been years since i read that study so correct me if im wrong) or have really good gut insticts. Either way, they know you are struggling and trie in subtle ways to help you

-did an important call without stuttering? hug and smooch on the crown of your head, completed all your work/homework? they will cover you in stickers and cuddle you in their pillowfort, stood up for yourself? my girl theyll make a huge cupcake tray and youll two will eat while watching sappy disney films

- you won’t struggle as much, i see them as more easy going than other members of the team. But they also have big issues that may create problems in the relationship that you both need  to work on. They are more than a handfull and they aren’t unaware of it, they spended years locked inside their own head doing god-knows how vile and harming things to their mentality and body, they can’t believe they are alive and they wake up every day next to the most beautifull human being they have come across their lif, ( Y/n). You will bond slow but strong , you are their sunshine and theyll make sure their sunshine shines no matter what they have to do

Engie

( lowkey i think is canon he has some form of high-functioning autism, just hide its behind the southern warm and soft hospitality)

- when you confess, he hugs you ( a big thing coming from him since i dont consider him a touchy fella)  and returns the confession that he is too. He knows each person experiences different so he won’t press you for explanations or description of what you have is excactly. He just assures whatever happens, he is there to help you with

- doesn’t really change how he views you, but he takes the initiative for things like talking to strangers, calling to order or things that you struggle with, but he doesnt baby you. You are an adult person and will be treated as that, even if sometimes he feels he needs to “help” or “protect” you

-one of the most  easy going of the mercs, but his work is his priority so there will be long arguments about it. He understands your frustation, but he is a workaholic years now before you came in his life and can’t bring himself to change that. His work is his routine, the only comfort he knows and the only place that accepted him for who he is. But, he will be more elastic and have more breaks/ days off even if it means the project will be finished an hour or two later, unless it has an urgent deadline. He knows he can be very cold and emotionless, he is an engineer, not a spy for that reason. Furthermore he has his own times when he is stubborns or has an anger explosion because something broke/didnt meet his expectations or got way too invested into something that turned to be worthless/ uselless so he isn’t the one to judge if you are in a sour mood or you have your own “ explosion”. After all said and done, late at night when you are both alonein his workshop he will just cradle you in his arms and make a silence promise to always be there for you through thin and thick ( as we say to go through 40 waves and 40 more ) because you are something that no machine or creation can emulate or recreate, you are ( Y/N) and you are the love of his life.

Demo

-arguably one of the three more knowledgable of the mercs in the topic of mental health department. Being raised in an orphanage i doubt he didnt had at least a dozen other kids who had from high to moderate to severe autism ( during the 20th century it wasnt uncommon for people with autism to be thought less human or that the family of said people couldn’t provide for them in severe cases so theyd be dropped on orphanages and psychiatric hospitals)., so he has some first hand experiene with what autism is. It isn’t something for him in all honesty, after so much trauma and hardship in his life he is at peace that peopleare different and their brains are rarely wired the same

-he also know he isn’t ideal, he acts really stupid when he is drunk and his alcohol consumption alone is a very big problem for any relationship he ever had in his life and i doubt he is the image of psychological perfection, but he also knows that if you are willing to keep him around you have seen him wasted out of his mind, he is more than willing to put up with anyof your quirks or difficulties.

-you want to stim? go ahead he’ll leave the room/the house so you can stim to your hearts content, you want to stay? sure thing lass, hell sit in a corner and drink a bit while you have your thing. Work/ school/ home life is stress full and you are in the verge of a breakdown? he has already wrapped you like a burrito and he is holding you while you cry/vent, you dont want to be touched at that moment? hell take you to an open field and you can blow things up to get all those feelings out of you. He isn’t ideal, he is at peace with that, but now that you appeared in his life, you became the apple of his eye. He’ll cherish you and protect you both as body but as a mind and a soul for whatever shit life throws at you, he was never one to back down a challenge.

Heavy

-due to the language barrier and his nature as a quiet man it’ll take him some time. If you bring it up he’ll simply nod and run to Medic or Spy for translation. He isn’t shy to do a doctors worth of research so he knows what he has to deal with, he knows his english is broken and would prefer to have a migraine over the amount of books hes read than make you feel uncomfortable. Probably will ask advice from Medic ( the most qualified on the team) untill hes satisfied he knows enough.

-probably the sanest of the mercs, but he isn’t perfection. He had to endure famine and death from very early in his life, always be the stone his family anchored on and most people on his life, so he has his own big problems. At one side he is used to so many things, he is somewhat indiferent. You aren’t harming anyone nor its life threatening, so it doesnt really change what he feels about you. All people have flaws, noones perfect and if they do think they are perfect, they are very, very wrong. I won’t lie to you, some times hell get confuse with your behavior or will get tired of being the “ anchor” of the relationship, but he will never admit it. He survived the Gulags and years in Siberia, this is nothing but a walk in the park for him. He isn’t a fuckboy, he doesn’t want you just for some fuck and then hell forget you exist, he is much more sentimental than he appears to be. He beginned this with you because he sees you more than a body, he sees you as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with even if itll be a challenge, he was never a quiter and he wont be now.

- don’t expect much communication help from him, unless its in russian. But whenever you feel the tiniest bit of self-doubt or anxiety his arms are open to embrace and warm you with  his love. He might was raised among anarchy and war, but he is a gentle giant with a heart bigger than Russia herself. He knows you two will struggle especially on the communication domain but he is willing  to do what it takes to make your life easier/ less challenging. He came here to stay, only if you allow him 

Medic

-Arguably the most medically qualified of the mercs, but considering the era of his studies hes at least rusty on modern terminology and general understanding of what autism is. Nontheless his a doctor ( with or without a medical license) and i doubt he ever followed the rules of ethical and unethical medicine. He is a healer primeraly and he can’t claim to be the most mentaly stable of the team.

-he might be many things, he knows hes at least crazy by normal standards and has made extremely questionable choices in his life,but he cares for the people he is close to, lovers and collagues alike. He won’t try to ‘change’or ‘medicate’ you; unless you specifically ask him for, like yes he has defied any sort of ethical medicine and has played god many times in his life, but he knows that if he changes you, you won’t be ‘you’. You will be you still, but nothing more than a lobotomized version of yourself and he fears that. Let’s be real, he probably choosed you because you are a smart individual ( that includes both street and book smarts alike) so if he “killed” your smart he would essentially kill you and this doesnt sit well with him.

-feeling down? no worries, the doctor is here ( afterhe finis hes re-connecting snipers new kidneys). Stressed? Archimedes will be your own personal cheerleader and the rest of the flock won’t let you all stressed and alone while Medic is working. In the simplest of works,he wants you to know that  he might be a madman on the field and the medbay, but he is also your lover and that means he cares about you. He doesnt care if act a lil strange or you have some special things about you, guess what? he doesnt cares. H e never cared and he will never cared, all the greatest minds had something  special about them and you are no exception. He chosed to have a relationship with  you and you accepted the love request of a surgery-happy maniac , im sure he is beyond equiped to handle you in all aspects. He might not be the most touchy but he will make his point across that you are someone who means wayy to much for him to change

Sniper

- ( i highly think he is autistic, just the way hes potrayed in most fanfics he acts lowkey autistic, mostly in the communication and sociable part) growing up in the middle of nowhere probably he has never even heard ‘autism’ as a word , so his very lost. (another headcanon of mine is that he is also iliterate) You need to explain to him what autism is and how it affects your life. He has a non-pleasant expression on his face, because he realises most things that you say what that “autism”is and the thing it has are things he actually  has and felt throughout his life. He looks like hes having a religious expierience and when you are done he only nods and hugs you almost mechanically.

-he will need some time, not because ofyou, but because of him. You might think he is breaking up with, butin reality he just needs some time alone to sit down and think about all the things you said. Its one of the biggest revalations he has experienced on his life and it has hit him like a wall of bricks.

- after a few days he will return to the base and will ask you to meet with him on the most secluded of his snipers nest. While you prepare for the upcoming breakup, he actually showers and wears somet hing nice for the first time in a while. He goes out of his way to make the sniper nest a bit more “ comfortable” even bribe spy into giving him one of his fancy wines. Once you go up the nest and you two meet, he is the most clingy he has ever been and almost drinks the whole bottle out of pure anxiety. Once his tipsy enough he actually confesses that from the things you said, he found out hes also autistic. Que him basically clinging you like a broken koala baby while half-sobbing to expell all the tension he  has inside him. Please pet his hair and rub his back,he will melt and quit his rugged manly man persona for that moment. He needs you there, he needs your soft touch to ground him while his whole life comes crushing down and a weight he never imagined is being lifted from his shoulders.After that, its quaranteed you two won’t be seperated ever again, he needs you to ease all this pain he has gathered from his troubled life and he will provide you the world and the stars.

Spy

- he knows what autism is( as a spy he should know about human psychology/mental disorders just to know how to impersonate any person with or without issues) and he is a very observant man. He has above average attention span and knows how to read body language so he has figured you are autistic a long time ago. He is just waiting for you to open up about it or confess it, but he also knows the social stigma around autism so he keeps his mouth shut because he really doesn’t want you  to feel uncomfortable or ‘naked’ in front of him

- i heavily headcanon him to be at least depressed/having an ugly anxiety disorder or even a dissosiative disorder considering a big part of his life is carefully crafted theater , so he can’t say he is any more better than you.Furthermore he never really cared about what society thinks about mental ilnesses, whos here to judge who sane and not? he has seen so much shady things behind closed doors of “ pure” people he has lost all respect for what society thinks its normal and what is weird or not acceptable. Yes he follows the rules of “good” society but thats more of a habit than a need. Plus have you seen what the good ol’ society behind close doors? yap youll need a good bible study and some church to wash away the sins.

-eventually when you confess to him,he doesn’t really act. He knows its a heavyemotinal moment for you but he can’t open up for his own problems, at least now. But he will embrace you for now and say all the sweet words you need to hear...untill the same time he gets drunker than he can and confesses to you in french all his psychological troubles while he cries on your chest. He won’t let go unless he wants to vomit and he will cling to you for dear life while he experiences one of the ugliest meltdowns he has experienced in the last decade. Probably will wake up with a monster of a hangover, but once he feels you wrapped around him and feel your heartbeat on the bones of his back something will meltin him. He will gather whatever strenght he has, turn around, give you one of the most genuine smiles he has ever given in his entire life and peck your lips bore he starts whining and requiesting you to either kill him or fetch medic. Perhaps one day hell say all the things he wants to say in you mother tongoue but for now, just know he will cherish you and love you like the most exquisite poetry that has graced his life

[harringtown]

oh it's always you, oh I always knew

ive been rewatching new girl like a fiend over quarantine, and was talking to em @comedy-witch​ earlier about Steve’s insecurities after everything that happens, and then I did what I usually do, which is word vomit a fic, and here we are! the scene is based on jess and nick calling off their relationship in 2x25 and then immediately uncalling it off lol. also robin def has winstons weird wisdom, so she inevitably plays his role in it (without the badger bite, of course)

Summary: Steve isn’t sure he believes in things working out. The reader tries to convince him differently (angst with a happy ending cuz im a schmuck)

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: cursing & cheating mention

- 

The date is awkward from start to finish. First, you both get blasted with water by a car speeding through a puddle on your way into the restaurant. Then, the reservation falls through, and you get seated at the worst table in the joint, with a server who seems to forget that you’re both even there. And to top it all off, on the way out of the restaurant, Tommy and his cronies passed by.

They didn’t say much, and didn’t stay for long, but their words shattered the last of the glass.

“Better watch out,” Tommy said, “she might go and fall for Byers, too. Or, she’ll ‘disappear’ just like Barb did. You were the last to see her, Harrington. Interesting, yeah?”

You were able to drag Steve away before he punched Tommy in the face - which he deserved, to be fair - but afterward, his entropy changes, all the gates slamming down in his eyes.

It was so much easier when it wasn’t pressured. You would take the stress and uncertainty of the game you and Steve played for two years before finally going out over…whatever this is.

Before, you were just allies in a war neither of you signed up for, and you had that to bond over. Natural conversation flowed easily after talk of the monsters and while tending to each other’s wounds. Before, you were just Y/N and Steve, and your inclusion in a secret, though tumultuous, world kept you connected.

A date should have been easy. You’ve practically been dating for the last six months anyway. And yet, the moment any official title was slapped to it - a Date, at This Time, at This Place, emphasis on the word Date - some kind of noose was slung around both your necks, tightening and dragging you back.

You call it early, and on the ride back to your house, neither of you speaks. You’re both circling around the same conclusion, and neither wants to voice the words; to speak them aloud is to make them real, to agree to them. And neither of you wants to be the first to let go. You don’t want to let go at all.

-

While the beginning of the horrible date wasn’t Steve’s fault, the end of it is. The second it starts to sour that familiar voice edges back into his head, warning him of what happens when he gets too close; this time, it’s some splashed water and an awkward dinner, but next, it could be your name in the obituary list, just like Barbara’s.

He wishes that was all he was afraid of, but if he’s honest with himself - and he rarely is - he’s more afraid of you than he is of anything Upside Down related getting to you. As much as he wants to keep you safe, he wants to keep himself safe, too, and he can’t stay safe and keep falling in love with you.

Love is a jagged cliff, and all Steve has ever found at the bottom are piercing rocks. And Tommy managed to bring those rocks right up to eye level.

It’s easier this way, he thinks. Easier to cut it off before it gets the chance to cut him. End it before it inevitably falls to pieces, or you hurt him, or he hurts you, or you hurt each other.

He pulls his car up to the curb outside your house, putting it into park. You don’t get out immediately, nor do you take off your seatbelt; Steve knows why, but he can’t bring himself to be the first to say it.

“He might be right,” Steve says, though the words taste like ash. “Anyone that hangs around me gets hurt. You’ve gotten hurt. Is that what you want?”

“No, of course not, but-“ You say, words sounding strangled.

“So, you agree with him, then?”

“No, I don’t agree with him. You know I don’t.”

“I’m not good for you,” he says. “And…” He takes in a breath. “We gave it a shot. Look how that turned out.”

“It was just one date,” you say, but Steve can see through the lie, and you don’t try all that hard to hide it; like you’re giving up. That realization is like a punch to Steve’s chest, but he pushes on.

“We tried. But it’s not like we…” Steve flicks a glance your way, then away, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. “It’s not like we’re in love or anything. Sometimes…it just doesn’t work out.”

You nod, swallowing, and Steve knows your eyes are welling with tears, but he also knows that if he looks at you right now, he’ll crumble.

“Just…say it, okay?” You ask softly. “We’re both thinking it. Just say it. Please.”

Steve takes a deep breath, and says, “I think we should call it.”

You nod, sniffling, and nod again.

“Okay,” you say. You clear your throat, undoing your seatbelt and popping the door open. You look at Steve, and he forces himself to meet your gaze, ignoring the way his heart splinters at the redness rounding your eyes. “Okay.”

You climb out of the car, nudging the door shut behind you and walking up to your house with turning back. The moment you’re more than a few yards from his car, Steve curses, lightly smacking the steering wheel and curling his fingers tightly around it.

He thinks suddenly of one of Robin’s lectures - after you asked him out, when he was venting to her about how much easier and safer it is to keep running.

She’d just nodded, and said, “That’s your move, isn’t it? Things get messy, you run away. You think that’s the only way to protect yourself. But the thing about protecting yourself like that? You end up all alone. Maybe you should try and make a different move.”

He shakes his head, and curses, “Damn it.” He undoes his seatbelt, pushing the car door open and coming around it to head up your driveway. In his haste, he doesn’t see you running through your door toward him, and you nearly run right into each other.

You both freeze a foot away from the other, eyes wide, both breathing heavily for different reasons. Steve is so shocked your’e standing there he can’t grab onto any of the thoughts flying through his head.

“Tommy is wrong,” you say suddenly. “And…and you’re wrong. I’m not Nancy Wheeler, and I’m not Barb. I’m not going anywhere. I see what you’re doing, and I know why you’re doing it but-” You shake your head. “But I’m not ready to give up on you. On this. I don’t care that it was only one date, or a few kisses. I’m not ready to stop fighting for it. Cuz that’s the one thing we are good at, right? We might not be able to make stupid small talk over a table, but we saved each other’s lives a hundred times. That counts for something.” You meet his gaze, tears glazing your gaze, and your lips part. “So, please…can we uncall it? I want to uncall it.” Your voice breaks on the last word and Steve moves forward, pulling you into his arms.

He’s smiling as he catches your mouth in his, and your lips part, your breath hot and fingertips lighting fires as they trace up his arms and curl into his hair. It’s not your first kiss, but it feels like it; it holds all the intensity and fire of the first.

Steve pulls away, hands moving to cup your cheeks, and he shakes his head, a laugh bubbling up and out of him. Your lips curve up, and then you’re both laughing, and he’s bending in to kiss you again, arms around your waist, your arms coming up to wind around his neck.

When he pulls away again, he dips his forehead against yours, his eyes fluttering shut.

“I’m not ready to give up on this, either,” he says softly.

You shift back enough to meet his gaze, eyes flicking around his face, a hint of uncertainty in your eyes.

“For real?” You ask. “You really…want to do this?”

He smiles, leaning forward again, bumping your nose with his.

“I trust you,” he says, “and I want you.”

“Even if it means another awkward date?” You ask. His grin widens, and he inclines his head.

“You said it yourself. We’ve been fighting monsters for years. We can survive a few awkward dinners.” He pulls you closer, close enough to feel your heartbeat against his. “Plus, you’re worth it.”

“Cheeseball,” you say, rolling your eyes, but you’re smiling when you lean in to kiss him again.

Steve Harrington doesn’t believe in much, and he trusts in even less. But he trusts in you, and as terrifying as it is to take a step forward, he wants to believe that what comes next is something beautiful. And if the end of the road isn’t what he wants it to be, at the very least, he’ll have gotten to go down the road at all.

-

Steve Taglist: @allfandomxreader​​ @kalie-bee​​ @sourapplebaby​​ @iiqtpiee @queenofthehairharrington​​ @drcwse​​ @whitecard62​​ @captainelsaeverdeen​​ @hairrington​​ @lemonypink​​ @ludicstilinski @harrington-ofhawkins​​ @dezzylou24​​ @mightstudysoon​​ @ultrunning​​ @xthe-dreamerx​​ @bralessandflawless​ @pvnsie​​ @anerroroccurrrrred​​ @bookfrog242​​ @yayrainyday @snarky–starky​ @with-a-little-bit-of-light​ @mochminnie​ @redbullchick​ @izzylizzybizzy @sassisaluxuy @80strashbag​ @m-blasterrr​ @estrela-rogers​ @comedy-witch​ @sammyyyygp​ @alwaysthefangirl​ @jxnehxpper​ @perksofbeingawf @anxiouskore​ @bombardia​ @willowrose99​ @honeybloomtea @mustbluvs​ @ilovebucketbarnes​ @kylosleftbuttcheek​ @steve–harrington–gal

[wolferals]

🌍parallel universes**🌍

arón piper imagine

!SEXUAL CONTENT!SMUT!

*

*

„Hey you." you greeted Arón the second you walked in the door and saw the handsome actor sitting on his bed busy with his phone. He looked up for a quick second and nodded at you. Apparently he was VERY busy.

You went straight to his kitchen after putting down your bag in his room to just grab a quick snack after class.

His kitchen was always super messy so you spend some good five minutes cleaning before you actually went on to make yourself a sandwich.

But as you looked into his fridge you figured, simple toast with jam would have to do. How did this guy not starve?

Then you grabbed your sandwich and walked back to his room where you sat yourself down next to him just to see what he had been up to. While eating your sandwich you were watching him scroll through twitter. All the posts were in Spanish so you didn't quite know what was going on but Arón seemed pretty stressed out about something.

„You okay?" you carefully asked and scanned his side profile. He didnt look at you, he just kept scrolling. You noticed his uneasiness. His left hand had grabbed the sheets rather roughly, you could see the veins on his hand popping out.

„Arón?" you asked again but didnt get a response at all.

You kept on watching him internally freak out for a couple of minutes until you were done and grabbed his phone and slammed it next to you on the mattress.

„Whats wrong?" You sounded pissed off but you were actually just concerned.

Arón leaned his head back against the wall before finally looking at you for the first time this afternoon. „I fucked up." he simply said and ran his hand through his curls.

You looked at him in confusion and then responded:"What happened? What did you do?"

He gave you a sad look. After, he took a deep breath and turned around to face you completely.

„When I was dating Juliana (sorry if thats your name), you remember? I sent her this one picture. Only one! And she leaked it and im fucked. Everyone saw it."

You could see the tears forming in his brown eyes.

„Okay." you spoke and grabbed his hand. „Dont worry! Its gonna be fine. Its just a damn picture. What exactly was on it? Your face too?"

He shook his head. „But my tattoos."

You breathed in heavily before continuing:"Its okay, Arón, really. Its just a picture. Doesnt say anything about you. They know you're not sending shit like that to random people."

He laughed a fake laugh and said:"Y/n its a fucking nude. Its my chest and my fucking dick. Do you think they're gonna forget about it? No."

You just looked at him for a while because you werent sure what to say.

„You have to ignore it. They will stop talking about it tomorrow because something else will be more interesting, thats how twitter works. Just calm down please."

He nodded slowly and took another deep breath.

„Just please dont go on Twitter and ignore anything related to that. I dont want you to see that."

You nodded understanding and pressed his hand a little tighter. „Its gonna be alright." you spoke quietly and pulled him in a tight hug. He seemed to appreciate it since he pulled you really close to his chest and placed his flat hand on the back of your head.

„You're a good girl." he whispered and dug his head in the crook of your neck. To be honest, not the smartest choice of words since all you were thinking of now was this picture.

But the way he said it sounded so innocent, he wouldn't have meant it to be dirty.

„You wanna watch a movie?" you suggested as you let go of him. „Hm. Im not really in the mood. Can we listen to some music por favor?" he pouted and looked at you with big eyes.

„Of course." you replied and lied down on your back.

He did the same and put his arm around you so he'd be more comfortable.

„You okay?" you asked once again after he was just staring at the ceiling for a moment.

Arón simply nodded, his eyes not leaving the wooden ceiling. It felt good to be with him. Alone for the first time in a while, it was always someone around, you never got to talk to him, only him.

You then decided to put on some comforting music to maybe calm him down a bit since he was so drained.

Over the course of the first 3 songs you guys were just laying there, no one said a word. Until Arón suddenly spoke up.

„Do you ever think about if theres another world somewhere where all the people we know, and us are different people? Maybe we're friends in this other universe, or we dont know we exist at all."

You turned your head in confusion to his sudden philosophy.

He turned his head as well and you both ended up looking deep into the others eyes.

„Maybe... maybe we're older in the other world. Maybe we're even a couple or married. Maybe we have kids together, got divorced after 10 years and now we only see each other because of the kids. And maybe you've had another guy after the divorce who's treated you better than me. Because I'm sure I'd be the reason for our divorce."

On the one hand you were touched by his cute words but on the other hand it made you laugh how deep he suddenly got, talking about the both of you being an old divorced couple.

„You're crazy." you grinned and looked back at the ceiling.

Slowly you closed your eyes and fully concentrated on the music.

It was silent for a bit until you heard his voice again.

„Maybe i messed up in the other universe, maybe the other Arón ended up alone because he missed his shot, maybe he didnt use the chance to kiss the other y/n when the perfect moment had come. You'd be happy with another man and I would regret not kissing you all my life."

You opened your eyes. Just to see his face inches away from yours.

None of you said a word.

You kept staring into his deep brown eyes while they got closer and closer. He carefully leaned in and you were more than ready to feel his kiss.

„May I?" he whispered against your lips.

With a little nod you accepted and a moment later you felt his plump lips softly pressing against yours.

You expected his kisses to be rougher but you loved the way he kissed you that moment.

The kiss didnt last long, he pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours.

„You're all Ive ever wanted y/n. And im sorry, if you dont feel the same way thats okay. I just didnt want to regret not doing it." he explained in a soft tone before looking at you again.

You didnt know what to think that second but all you knew was that your body craved him. Your soul was screaming for his touch.

So you did what you had to do.

You pulled him down on the back of his neck to kiss him a little harder this time. He seemed surprised but kissed back immediately. He made you feel alive again, after your last sad relationship you didnt want to be in love again. But this boy made you fly.

After making out for a bit, you wanted more. You tugged on his shirt, telling him to take it off. He pulled away quickly and looked at you. „Are you sure you want to do this?"

You just nodded, your body shaking from the inside. You wanted him to love you the way no one ever did before.

Arón skillfully tore off his shirt and threw somewhere in the room. He then carefully took of yours, looking down at you in awe. „Bonita." he whispered and started planting soft tender kisses on your collar bones, neck and your boobs.

„Joder." he cursed as he kept kissing down your exposed stomach.

You started moaning quietly when he reached the hem of your pants. „Can I?" he asked again.

It killed you how sweet he was. You always thought he'd be the kind of guy to rip your clothes off in a second and fuck you rough but he wasnt acting like that at all.

Slowly he slid your jeans down your legs and threw them on the floor. Afterwards he climbed back on top of you to kiss you softly again. You could feel the passion in the kiss.

„Are you ready?“ he whispered while grabbing a condom from his nightstand. Quickly you pulled down your panties and sat up so he could take off your bra for you.

„You‘re so beautiful.“ arón murmured and grabbed your boobs carefully just to place a kiss on your lips again.

„Lie down bebe.“

You did as he said and lied down on your back. You looked up at him with lustfilled eyes. He looked so beautiful kneeling inbetween your legs, in just his boxers. His abs were glistening in the light and his curls were falling perfectly on his forehead.

You just waited for him to start you didnt notice that he took off his underwear meanwhile.

„Ready?“ he asked again and looked down at your exposed body while he was holding his surprisingly big dick in his right hand.

You nodded and couldnt stop staring at his cock that was already leaking precum into the condom.

„Alright babe.“

You were so horny by now you couldnt wait to feel him inside of you.

Slowly and very carefully he pushed his length in your pussy. You hadnt had sex in a long time so it did hurt a little bit. But nothing you couldnt handle.

He was staring into your eyes while his dick drove further into you inch by inch.

„estás bien?“ he whispered and held onto your waist.

With a simple nod you agreed.

„Can I move, does it hurt?“

You sat up a little bit. „Yeah you can move. Its okay.“

He lied fully on top of you just to see you closer.

„If it hurts tell me.“

You nodded yet again.

And then he pulled out an inch just to push his dick back inside of your walls. And it felt so damn good.

He continued in a slow pace and you softly moaned out. But eventually you needed more and told him.

„More.“

He grinned and started fucking you faster. Your eyes rolled back into your skull and you moaned our.

„Yes please.“ Arón grabbed your left hand just to place it next to your hand, intertwining your fingers.

„You‘re perfect.“ he groaned while his thick cock was pistoning in and out of you.

With a moan you replied to his statement.

„Baby you feel so good.“ he moaned out loudly. Very loud to be specific. His deep raspy voice threw you over the edge. Your back arched, your eyes rolled back and a loud high pitched moan left your mouth.

„Cum for me baby.“ he encouraged your orgasm and placed kisses on your neck as it hit you like a wave.

He really did make you feel like you were in heaven.

„Im close too honey. Ride me please.“ he suddenly begged after you had calmed down from your orgasm.

You just nodded and watched him pull out and you both switches positions. Carefully you sat on his dick and leaned forwards to hold onto him.

„Hmm fuck so pretty.“ he moaned and bit his lip when you slowly started bouncing up and down his thick shaft.

This angle made it possible for him to go even deeper.

„Bebesita. Faster por favor.“ he groaned and threw his head back. You tried to fuck his dick as fast as you could, just making yourself moan out loud.

Arón had grabbed onto your waist with one hand, and bit his other hand to stop himself from screaming out loud.

You could hear his muffled moans which only encouraged you to go even faster.

„Baby fuck im gonna...“ he tried to speak but his high was faster and his hips started to twitch and his mouth fell open.

A long deep scream left his mouth the second his orgasm hit him. You could feel his hot cum fill up the condom inside of you and it satisfied you to the max.

His body sank down into the mattress again and all you could hear was his hard breathing and your own heartbeat.

Without saying a word, you got off of him and lied down with your head on his chest and his arm around you.

He breathed out loudly and turned his head to face you.

„Joder.“ he laughed still out of breath. You smiled at him and replied:“I know.“

He pulled your sweating bodies closer together before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

„Thank you.“ you smiled at him.

„What for?“ he looked at you in confusion.

„For kissing me.“

He laughed, grabbed your face and kissed your lips once again.

[heleneplays]

another week over and october by the crane wives continues to be my top song on spotify. here are some songs for the weekend! a bouncy song to jam to- anywhere by passenger. a song that'll leave you feeling bittersweet- windmills by toad the wet sprocket. a friendship song- army by boy. (also i'm sorry if this ask sends more than once, tumblr keeps giving me 'bad request')

it's prolly on the internet connection, but also god big mood! don't worry tho, this ONE did come thru!!! also october is SO good, i'm gonna bet your spotify wrapped will look so cool 😆♡♡♡

on another note mine's repeating tongues & teeth AND icarus aside curses... they're just so iconic UGH👉🏻👈🏻 and i'm thinking of getting their actual albums but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ yea

I really do have to thank u abt recommending them once again tho,,, they saved my ass from post-test stress, I've been laid down on the floor while playing pokemon (oop sorry wips, my beloved,,,) just letting their vibes wash me out for hours now <3

ANYWAYS

I see passenger in ur recs and as a years-old fan i'm doing the eyyyyyyyy! same hat thing rn <3

once again, business as usual now!

Song 1: Anywhere by Passenger

My thoughts: Nostalgia trip to my Grade 10 days where I was neck deep into dissociating for a better time....... not that i do it still these days (if in smaller doses) but OOP-- GOD this song is so old YET so beautiful still *pleading face*,,, I've always associated this with just. about being. about finding life with someone/s special, and living well. Passenger really just has that special place in my heart where it can tug on a range of strings from bittersweet to something hopeful and vibrant ♡

10/10, thank u for reminding me of this gem and!!! added it to the M.C.R. AU gang playlist 💖💖💖

---

Song 2: Windmills by Toad the wet sprocket

My thoughts: OH THE VIBES FROM THE START. I LOVE 'EM! and oop I think its being evident im a slut for slow vocals but let's not talk abt that--

The SONG THO, ugh. you say this is bittersweet? i'm actually fully vibing-- maybe it's a lil sad, but it's not... in that level of range for me,,,, maybe being influenced majorly by the instrumental bkg, but UGH. The feeling is more. something suited to a light hurt/comfort fic or a small stone quickly skipping through the water, if that makes sense?

UGH 9/10 tho I am in LOVE with the vibes and the lyrics too ig but makes me. quite seepy 😔👉🏻👈🏻

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Song 3: Army by Boy

My Thoughts: I COME IN AND IMMEDIATELY!!! THE GUITAR AND THE VOCALS HAS ME GOING😏😳!!!!! it's definitely a friendship/squad song and I'M VIBING aaaaaaaaaaaa I LOVE IT???? a lot,,,,

ugh my heart is really out here just suddenly feeling sad i can't pop by my besties' homes so i can get some quality snuggle hours >:0

anyways THE LYRICS ARE LIT!!! can relate majorly to

They're taller than giants // They outshine all the stars // They are the love above love // They're my army of fortune // They win every war // They are the love above love

AND SERIOUSLY!!! 11/10 & once again added to M.C.R. AU gang playlist!

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Vibes for this weekend is missing bestie squads huh? *continues to lie down on the floor, imagining i was touching water in a pool with infinite tenderness* i think i will miss my friends on purpose ♡

ANYWAYS I hope you're doing okay though and I wish u a super cool weekend as well! Personally i'm just gonna wait for news in regards to my one class that's on Saturdays (i'm gay and aggrieved :( ), finish my Pokemon HeartGold playthrough & work on art ONCE done :3c

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!

*bonk* take care bestie, ily <3

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 48

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: i know my last chapter didnt get many notes but the chapter is ready so why not post it you know? sex is vanilla again. thought it was cute. sue me lol. theyll have kinker sex dont worry hahaha! i would LOVE to know what you think of the characters and their reactions and stuff. so please, message me!

here are the requests for this chapter! for the instagram one, i changed it a bit because i dont think her character would want to be in the spotlight like that i hope its ok! also i had already talked about their first time and such so I added the others :)

Chapter 48 : His chapter

NIALL

"Oh my god! Look at you flirting with that woman like she's not 30 years older than you!"

I started laughing and let my head fall back slightly. My arm was on the couch's back right behind her head and I brought it closer, pulling her to me by her neck.

"Is that the tone you use when you're jealous?"

I noticed her nose raise up in a grimace but she kept staring at the tv, making me laugh even more. For some reason, Olivia wanted us to watch old One Direction interviews, pretending it would help me for the ones I had planned in the next few weeks. It didn't really help, all it did was make us laugh and I had to admit it was quite entertaining and I was pretty sure I had never watched most of them.

"It was tough watching interviews back then." she admitted, raising a shoulder. "Especially the older ones. You were such a horny kid."

I frowned slightly at her comment. I could hear a lot of pain but also a bit of blame and it bothered me. I was young, I was newly famous and not shy at all. Of course, I was a bit stupid and I tried to be funny but out of all the people in the world, I thought she'd be the last one to comment on it.

"I just enjoyed flirting." I let out, shrugging too. "I don't do that anymore."

It took her a few seconds but she turned my way, staring at my profile.

"How many times did it work?"

I frowned, still looking the old 60 minutes interview we did a few years ago playing on screen. Did I really want to have this discussion?

"What are you asking?"

I held my breath and turned to her, noticing how painful it was for her to ask me something like that. I felt my annoyance falter a bit but not leave completely.

"How many girls did you have sex with?"

We had never talked about that before. I thought about asking, especially when we started dating, but I was scared it would start shit between us. When I was younger, I didn't mention my stories mostly because I didn't want to hear hers. Now that I think about it, it was probably out of jealousy, too.

"Liv, please-"

"More than 10?"

I stared at her a few seconds and nodded a bit. I watched her lick her lips and breathe in and nervously, I felt my fingers play with the fabric of the couch. I hated this, it could only turn wrong.

"More than 20?"

I could feel myself getting angry and I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. I didn't know why I was so touchy, it was not in my nature, but perhaps the way she asked me didn't help. It was not just a casual conversation, there was clearly a reason why she asked and I suddenly regretted that we never talked about these things before.

"20 sounds about right." I just said, impatient to talk about something else.

"That's more than twice my number."

We remained silent for a few seconds and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Am I supposed to answer something to that?" I just wondered a bit rudly. "I don't know what you expected Olivia, but clearly you're delusional. I've had a lot of opportunities it's true, and no of course I didn't jump on all of them, but you don't ask an 18 year old boy to be reasonable after being thrown into fame. I don't think you can really understand what it's like."

I shook my head and sighed louder than needed before getting up a bit roughly. I felt her fingers wrap about my wrist and stopped immediately.

"I'm sorry."

I stayed motionless, standing up with my eyes closed as her fingers pressed around my wrist more.

"I'm just scared. And insecure." she added low as i felt her fingers slip and free my hand. "I don't understand why you're dating me, Niall. You could date so many girls or just fool around with anyone you want. But you're here with me and it just makes no fucking sense to me. So when I see how things used to be for you, it scares me for the future and at the same time, it reminds me how much I cried during those years."

I sighed and slowly sat back down next to her, still not being able to look at her.

"Why did you propose we watch that then?"

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed her looking down and swallowing. I couldn't pretend I knew how she felt, not now and not back then, but I was dating her now, I had been dating her for over 9 months. The fact that she was still doubting me... doubting us, was tough to accept.

"I thought i'd be okay, I thought since you were next to me, holding my hand, that it wouldn't bother me." she explained in a low and ashamed tone. "I was wrong."

I sighed again and rubbed my eyes before getting up again. Her head shot up quickly but I just held my hand out to her. It took her a few seconds but slowly, she slid her palm against mine and I pulled on her hand, helping her get up.

"Let's go outside, okay?"

She didn't say anything, she just let me bring her outside, in the backyard. I took my socks off after letting go of her hands and sat on the side of the pool, putting my feet in the water and waited for her. It took her a few minutes but I still didn't turn to her. The night was calm and warm enough, especially for late september, and I looked down at her feet moving slowly in the water.

"At the lodge, I saw you and Harry making out naked on the side of the pool. It made me very jealous, even if I didn't really realize it back then. Not really because you two were having sex, but mostly because he had your full attention, and I was so used to have it all for myself that losing it was like a slap in the face." I admitted, licking my lips. "I'm not saying I know how you feel, Liv, or how you used to feel. I just think that holding on to that is changing you and stressing you for no reason."

"Maybe."

She didn't comment on the part about Harry and I closed my eyes.

"The first date I ever went on was with a girl from school." I added low.

"Grace, I remember."

"The whole time, all I could think about was kissing her. I didn't care about anything else. I was young, I can't even remember if I liked her, but I wanted my real first kiss and it's all that mattered." I made a pause and sighed. "Then I had girlfriends when I was a bit older, and then I joined One Direction and met other girls. And whenever I hung out with them, I was never jealous, I thought 'hey if it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be' and that's it. I didn't expect it to last because I didn't want it to last. I had nothing to lose. I thought about sex and having fun."

I turned to her and sighed louder when I noticed tears falling down her cheeks. I moved my body her way slightly and shook my head.

"Olivia, why are you crying? I'm trying to tell you that it's different with you. I care about you. And the first thing I thought of when it came to you was not sex, it was not kissing you. It was making you happy, it was how good I felt around you. Why would you cry for that?"

"Because you seem to forget that I was there, Niall. I saw you with these girls. I cried myself to sleep because I desperately wanted to be in their shoes. My first kiss was with a guy at school who was harassing me to go out with him and when he kissed me, all I thought about was you. The first time I had sex with Rian I wished it was you. Every single decision in my love life seems to have been related to you. I'm not blaming you, it's all on me, but its still not easy for me."

My eyes roamed on her face and I watched her wipe her tears and sniff a few times before clearing her throat.

"We both need to make efforts. You can't spend all your time asking questions about my past that's gonna hurt you, you know."

"I'll work on that." she whispered. "But you're gonna have to be patient with me."

"Okay."

We remained quiet again for a while, just looking at the lights of the pool shining on the water. I knew I should reach for her hand but I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Remember the first time we got drunk together?" she asked with a chuckle, moving her feet a bit more vigorously and making the water move around her. "You were so cute, and so damn tactile. At some point I was so close to tell you that I loved you that I got scared and hid in the bathroom for half an hour."

I smiled at the memory and chuckled.

"You were so dramatic and I didn't even know!" I let out, making her laugh too. "I don't know how you kept it inside for so long."

"Fear of losing you." she shrugged. "I just looked at you, both of us totally pissed, and I thought 'everyone wants a piece of him but he's with you right now, don't ruin this Olivia'."

"You were cute, you had that really high ponytail. I remember because whenever you'd turn around, your hair would brush against my arm and I was so drunk it made me shiver every time."

My eyes found hers and she was not smiling anymore. Her lips were parted and her eyes were glued to me. I raised my eyebrows and moved my face closer to hers.

"Yes, I remember things. Not the same things you remember, and maybe not for the same reasons, but I do remember things."

Slowly, she pressed her lips together and they curled as she kept looking at me.

"I love you, Niall."

I moved my upper body over hers, forcing her to move down on the hard cement but she didn't complain. I placed both my hands on each side of her chest to hold myself over her and bent down to kiss her.

"I love you too." i answered, moving up to a bit to look at her.

Her eyes traveled on my face until my lips and she licked hers.

"You said you'd make love to me whenever I'd want." she whispered so low i barely heard. "I really want it now."

"It's not really comfortable." I pointed out, the right corner of my lips moving up.

"Then you're gonna have to be extra gentle with me."

I nodded and sat up, immediately reaching for the hem of her sweatpants and she moved her butt up to help me. She brought her feet off the water and placed them on the ground, her knees up, and my eyes roamed between her legs as I let out a low groan. I took my shirt off and didn't even react when it fell in the pool. It made Olivia chuckle and I just moved gently over her, placing myself between her legs.

One of her hands ran on my chest as I pressed myself against her. I felt her grind up slowly against me and bent down to kiss her. I could feel myself get harder with every move of her hips, even if she was barely moving and I let my lips brush on her jaw and down her neck.

"You should keep your shirt on, I don't want your back all scratched."

I brought my mouth back on hers and I noticed her lips curling in a fond but amused smile.

"You don't want to see me completely naked?"

"Don't be silly." I chuckled again, glancing down and noticing her hard nipples through the fabric of her shirt. "I really fucking do. But you don't need to be naked to turn me on."

She smiled more and I moved down on my elbows, moving her head up gently and placing my hands under it to make sure her head wouldn't rub against the cement.

"Are you sure you want to try it here?"

She didn't say anything, she just kept looking at me as her hands moved between us. One of her palms pressed on my cock and I groaned low. She started nibbling on her bottom lip, slowly pulling my pants down and I pushed myself into her. I was surprised at how wet she already was and how easy it was for us to do this, like our bodies just seemed to fit perfectly together.

"I love you."

I bent down again, kissing her as I started thrusting in and out of her so slowly that I could feel everything incredibly well. So well that it brought sensations in me that I hadn't felt before. I felt impatient and my whole body throbbed even more than usual. It was definitely different than what I was used to but I loved it. I could really see all of her facial expressions and ended up letting out a very low curse word when her lips parted and her eyes fluttered close. I watched her as she moved her chin up and I could feel the back of her head rubbing slowly against the palm of my hands, making a mess of her hair. She looked amazing, all fucked beneath me, and it made me realize how much I loved her.

"I love you too." I whispered back. "So much."

"Just me?"

My movements faltered and her eyes opened slowly. I stared at my best friend, laying under me, and I thought of all the things we went through together and all the things we'll go through together too. I thought about our friendship that turned into love, I thought about us when we were young, I thought about everything I missed with her and everything I lived with her, and I could swear I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Yes, only you."

Her hands traveled on my back until my ass and she let out a short whimper as her thighs pressed on my side to keep me close. I could feel my elbows and the back of my hands hurt from rubbing slightly on the cement but it was really the sharp pain in one of my knees that made it worse. I tried to push it out of my thoughts to focus on her and when she arched her back and started shaking, I knew she was cumming.

"Oh god Niall... I.. I'm..."

I tried to keep my movements slow and steady but it was pure torture until I felt an orgasm reach me. I felt it coming and held my breath as my eyes closed and I groaned again as it spread inside me slower than normally. I could feel it until the tip of my fingers and in my toes and when I came down from my high, I blinked a few times.

"I'm literally seeing spots." I let out with a short laugh.

"Me too." she chuckled just as my sight was getting clear again.

I looked at her laying under me and sighed. Now that it was over, I was more aware of the pain and I grimaced. I let myself roll on my back next to her and she moved her upper body over me with a frown.

"You okay? You're not bleeding are you?"

I brought my hands up to look at them and shook my head.

"I'm sorry." she added, raising her nose up. "We should have tried on the grass. Do you need ice or something?"

"And pizza." I pointed out with an exaggerated pain expression, making her laugh.

"Alright i'll bring all that in the living room."

She was about to get up but I put my hand on her thigh to stop her, my fingers brushing gently on her skin.

"Wait." She stopped and turned to me. "These girls, they mean nothing. You need to trust me."

She sent me a sad smile and shrugged a shoulder very slowly. I was tired to fight and I was scared it would ruin things between us.

"I'll try."

                                                         ---

I was driving the first time I heard 'This Town' on the radio and she was sitting next to me. I didn't know why but I felt incredibly lucky that I was not alone, and even luckier that she was the one with me. Her face illuminated and she let out a short scream, making me smile even more. I parked on the side of the road and she threw herself in my arms awkwardly since we both still had our seat belts on and we looked at each other the whole time it played until the very end.

"This is so fucking good Niall i'm so proud of you!"

I cupped her face and brought her closer a bit roughly, crashing my mouth against her and making her laugh. She grabbed the front of my shirt and deepened the kiss slightly, making me smile through it.

"Fucking hell."

She laughed as we pulled away slightly and smiled more.

"It's a big deal. Your first solo song." she whispered. "And you worked hard for that."

We remained in the car for a while, just flabbergasted by what had happened and a bit ecstatic. I looked at her reacting almost as intensely as me and it made me realize so many things that I just leaned against my seat and sighed. Despite all the fights we had, despite my almost total absence in the past few weeks, despite the fact that we had it hard recently, she was there, she supported me, and she was happy for me.

"A few drinks tonight to celebrate, how's that?" she proposed as I started the car again. "We could invite a few friends?"

"Yea, yea good call!" I let out, glancing at her. "Hey take my phone and go on instagram!"

She frowned a bit but she was still smiling and she did what I was told before looking at me again.

"You want to add something to your story?"she asked as I nodded. "Okay, go ahead!"

"Hello lovers, so we just heard 'This Town' for the first time on the radio a few minutes ago and we went completely crazy!" I just said with a laugh, trying to focus on the road as I passed one of my hands in my hair and shook my head. "Let me just get back home and I'll do a live and answer a few questions!"

She stopped filming and played with my phone for a few seconds before looking at me again.

"That's a very good idea."

With a smile plastered on my face, I parked the car and unlocked the front door before quickly getting my laptop. She put her purse on the couch and I sat next to it right before she disappeared in the kitchen. It took me a few minutes to go live but when I finally was, my smile hadn't faltered not even for a second. I started answering questions, glancing from time to time at Olivia that remained away from the camera. I knew she didn't like to be in the spotlight and that a lot of times, I brought attention to her without meaning to, but the fact that she was still there, in the shadows, to support me, meant the world.

"I was with Liv, it's her you heard on the video." I explained, answering an other question.

I saw my girlfriend grimace when she realized everyone had heard her voice and her probably her laughter when we recorded the small video in the car and my eyes found her again, her expression making me chuckle.

"From the face she's making now, it was clearly not intentional." I pointed out, laughing again.

My eyes caught a comment that made me frown but I tried to ignore it until I saw an other one and I finally closed my eyes, breathing in.

"Okay, i'm normally not the type to give attention to bad mouthing but we're trying to have a nice time and reading shit about my girlfriend is no fun."

I could feel Olivia tense near me as my eyes roamed on the comments.

'No Niall pls stay!!!'

'Ignore them we love her! OTP!'

'Fuck whoever talks shit about her'

'They don't deserve your attention!'

I didn't add anything else but kept on answering questions about an upcoming album, more songs, the process of writing and tour. After over half an hour, I said goodbye and turned my computer off. Olivia had left and I joined her in the kitchen, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. My lips reached her neck and I squeezed her tighter against me.

"Hey, darling." I whispered. I heard her sniff and my heart twitched. "It wasn't that mean. I promise."

I watched her fingers grip the side of the sink more and suddenly felt extremely bad. I shouldn't have commented, that way, she wouldn't know about the mean comments, but when I saw them, I didn't think, I just reacted. It was not like me but reading shit about her made me a bit impulsive and now I regretted it.

"That's what I mean when I say I don't understand why you're dating me." she murmured after swallowing hard. "No one understands why you're dating me."

"People who know nothing about you or our story don't get it, so what?" I just replied, nuzzling her nape. "Fuck them. I know why i'm dating you and i've got a shitton of good reasons."

"Don't tell me you don't doubt us, sometimes, Niall." she shook her head. "Don't tell me it never crosses you mind that you should be dating someone who's in your league. A tall, skinny, gorgeous actress, model, singer... I don't know."

She moved away from me and turned around, her back still facing me. I let my arms fall on each side of my body and sighed a bit loud before rubbing my eyes. I was trying to comfort her but it seemed like nothing i'd do would change anything.

"I'm telling you it's you, okay? I love you!" I argued, getting annoyed again. "I don't get how it's so hard to understand!"

She finally turned to me slowly and I felt a pain at heart when I saw the tears on her red cheeks. I didn't know why it was affecting her that much and I felt like i'd never understand.

"Love is not everything. Contrary to popular belief, love is not all you need." she pointed out, her arms crossed on her chest. She shook her head again and licked her lips as I stayed still, holding my breath. "I don't get why you don't understand how I feel, and I can't seem to explain it. It's useless, Niall. I'm useless."

Without waiting for an answer, she turned around and walked in the hall. I closed my eyes, trying to calm the beating of my heart. I should have ran to her and took her in my arms. I should have tried again to tell her how much she meant to me. I should have begged her to believe me and trust me. Instead, I sat on a chair and sighed loud. I felt defeated and exhausted at the same time. I just wanted us to be happy like we used to be but I didn't know how.

After a good twenty minutes of thinking, I got up and walked to our room, opening the door slowly. She was laying in bed, on her side with her knees up. I took a few steps closer only to realize she was asleep. I put my hands deep in my pockets and stared at her for a few seconds. Her lips were slightly parted and I could hear her breathe a bit louder than usual. I sighed again and found a blanket before putting it over her and bending down.

"You're so much more than you seem to believe." I murmured close to her ear. "I wish I knew how to show you. Maybe i'm the useless one."

[thisistenhyungsunderwear]

Hello sweetheart! Since you just opened requests, can I ask for a drabble or whatever you are most comfortable writing, maybe some smut with mark tuan?? if you don't have many ideas maybe something related to a break up and how the reader always keeps running back to his house because she can't forget him... yeah you know hahaha thank you!!!

Hi I hope this works, I kinda twisted the plot in the slightest but same idea lol hehe🥰

Group: Got7

Warnings: MakeupSex, Oral!FemaleRecieving, UnprotectedSex(Wrap it before you tap it kids), kinda soft

Word Count: 1781

"You can't keep pulling this shit Mark!" You yelled into the phone. "I can't keep doing this with you. This always happens." 

"Woah baby chill out, don't start getting any ideas." He said, recollecting himself from the screaming match you both just had. 

"No Mark, I can't keep doing this, this is the third time we've fought in the past week. Aren't you tired?" Your voice broke. Mark was silent on the other end. "I don't think I can do this with you anymore. I'm sorry." This time you gave him no opportunity to respond. You hung up your phone and threw it across the room. Tears filled to the brim, threatening to fall out. Your phone began vibrating across the room. You glanced over, hope flooding you that maybe it was Mark.

No. No you didn't. You and him weren't together anymore. No more going back. The phone started its series of vibrations again. 

Lost in your emotions, you didn't even realize the tears began streaming down your cheeks. A choked sob erupted from your throat. The phone stopped vibrating. 

Your knees threatened to give out as you walked over to your phone. More sobs and gasps started as you stared at the screen.

Missed call from Mark♡ (2)

New voicemail from Mark♡

You wanted to call him back. You wanted to apologize. You wanted to tell him you loved him. But you wanted the constant fighting to stop. You wanted to stop hearing his pleas for you to stop crying. You wanted the stress to stop.

It took you a minute to pick up your phone. It wouldn't hurt to just listen to the voicemail...hear his voice one last time. 

You unlocked your phone and pressed on the notification, which brought you straight to the voicemail. Hesitantly you pressed play and turned your volume all the way up.

"Baby, y/n" Mark's voice filled the room, the scratchiness evident from the crying and yelling in his voice, "baby, please, answer the phone. I need you. I know we've been fighting and god I'm such an idiot for letting it get this far. Baby I love you, so much, and I can't lose you. Please, answer the phone. Call me. I can't lose you." 

He stayed on the line for a minute longer, choked sounds coming out, as if he wanted to say more, but he couldn't make himself, then the line went dead. 

"My god," you whispered, regret washing over you. Why did you even let it get this far. 

You let your body go where it wanted, and immediately you were rushing out the door and to your car, barefoot and in nothing but shorts and one of Mark's hoodies, of course. 

The drive to his house was short. Maybe because he only lived 10 minutes away, or because you went 20 over the speed limit. Either way, you wasted no time pulling up in his driveway and running to the front door. You knocked on the door a few times, and tapped your foot impatiently.

A few seconds later, Mark opened the door. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair was a mess. He was in sweats and a tshirt, barefoot. 

A million thoughts ran through your mind all at once, but you ignored them all and jumped forward into his chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed as tight as you possibly could. 

"Im sorry fuck im so sorry I cant even begin to tell you how much I regret arguing baby I-" Mark began despertely rambling to you, trying to explain himself to you.

"Mark, please just kiss me." You cut him off, pulling back to look at him.

He didn't reply. Instead he pulled you in impossibly closer and stared down at you before leaning in and connecting your lips.

Behind his kiss was more passion and emotion than any of his words could even convey to you. 

When you broke apart, he looked down at you, the sadness now gone from his eyes. He was looking at you with love in his eyes, a million emotions conveyed in one glance. 

"Let me show you how much you mean to me, hm?" he asked quietly, lifting your chin up with his pointer finger to look at him fully. You nodded slowly and leaned back into kiss him quickly, before he took your hand and lead you to his bedroom. 

Taking you carefully, he laid you down on the bed below him and continued to kiss you, never one breaking the kiss unless it was to remove both of your shirts. His hand roamed endlessly around your torso, he never left a spot untouched for too long. He shimmied your shorts down your legs, and broke the kiss to look down at your figure, clad in nothing but your underwear. 

"Do you realize how beautiful you are?" He said, awe in his voice. He leaned back down and started to kiss down your neck, and in between kisses began to whisper praises and sweet nothings. Your face flushed and you listened to his soft voice telling you how beautiful ever curve of you was, and how much he loved you.

God why would you ever break up with Mark Tuan. 

He continued to kiss down your body, and once he reached your waistband he looked up at you innocently, "May I?" He asked, motioning to your underwear. 

"Yes. Please." You whispered, and never broke eye contact as he pulled them down and off of your body, tossed somewhere in the room, along with all of your other clothes. 

He laid down in front of your core, and wrapped his arms around your thighs, spreading them apart for him.

He kissed your inner thighs, alternating and slowly working his way up to where you needed him the most. Eventually he made it there, and to start he only placed small kisses around and near your entrance, and a few light pecks on your clit. 

"Mark, please." You moaned, needing more from your boyfriend. 

"As you wish." He said, and went straight in, sucking your clit and licking long striped from your entrance up. 

Your back arched in pleasure and eyes scrunched closed, lost in the euphoria only he could give you. He placed his hands on the base of your pelvic bone and pushed you down so that he could continue without interruption. 

Your moans and whines were a mess as he mercilessly ate you out, never ending pleasure washing through your body as you tangled your fingers through his messy hair. 

You could tell a knot sas beginning to form in your stomach but it wasn't until Mark inserted his middle fingers into your core where you felt the tension grow. 

"Shit shit shit shit shit-" you whispered, quieter with every syllable, getting lost in the pleasure and the sound of Mark encouraging you to cum was becoming too much. 

"Come on baby, let go," he said and sucked on your clit. That was your breaking point. The tension in your gut snapped and your hips snapped as you came, but Mark never once slowed down as you came, making sure to prolong your orgasm as much as possible. You whined telling him that it was getting to much and he slowly halted his movements. He crawled up and over your drained figure and kissed your forehead softly. 

"Think you can do that one more time for me baby?" He whispered, peering down intently at your facial expression, looking for any sign that you didn't want to continue. You nodded, still in too much shock to say any coherent words. 

Mark took your left hand and kissed the back of it before quickly pulling off his sweats and underwear. 

You watched him climb back over you and adjust himself in front of your entrance, "Ready?" He asked, awaiting your approval. You nodded yet again, this time pulling him back down for another kiss as he pushed himself into you slowly, giving you time to adjust to his size. 

"Shit" You both gasped, the feeling overwhelming. It was more than just sex right now. Right now it was showing each other how much you really loved the other, and that somehow made the feeling even more overwhelming. 

He stayed still for awhile when he bottomed out, both of your labored breathing filled the silence of the room. 

"Go," you said looking up at him, his gaze patiently awaiting yours, nothing but loved filled his eyes and you could look at him forever with that gaze. He nodded and slowly pulled out before setting a steady pace. The light sound of slapping and quiet moans filled the room. The sensitivity from your last irgasm cause your walls to tighten and relax constantly around him as he continued thrusting into you causing him to grunt. 

"I'm not gonna last very long if you keep doing that." 

Instead of responding you reached for his arm with your own and intertwined your fingers as he began to speed up, his patience wearing thin as he got closer.

"Cum with me baby, come on," he encouraged you, going faster with each snap of his hips, "just a little bit longer, yeah?"

You moaned in response, the familiar feeling built up in your stomach as you squeezed his hand, telling him you were close. His hips got faster before suddenly he stopped, painting your walls with his cum.

You were on the brink of the edge but didn't quite make it, and he noticed right away, so his hand went to your neglected clit and ran circles around it, sending you over the edge and convulsing around his oversensitive cock in your core. You moaned out his name a few times before coming down from the high and looked up at him. You knew you probably looked like a mess, smudged mascara and a flushed face and messy hair, but to him he thought you were the prettiest girl in the whole world.

The thought of losing you terrified him and he realized that today. The sound of Mark crying was one that you never wanted to hear again. You were each other's worlds. 

"I love you." He said, kissing your forehead and laying down next to you, wrapping his arm and your waist.  

"I love you too," you said, turning to face him. "Never again." You said, referring to the worst day you've experienced, the arguments, the break up, the tears. Never again. 

"Never again." He whispered back before pulling you in closer and holding you tighter than ever before.